On racism

The other day and even today ,there is a lot of hullabaloo because bbc was to interview the British National Party. The party is openly racist and does not allow membership from other races apart from pure whites.

Demonstrations have been going on at bbc to press that they are not granted the interview.

My one cent take.

Give the guys a chance. if we believe racism is not good,then whatever they say wont matter...or we are afraid to show our true colours.

We know racism has not died,it is alive and well...

Obama may have won the presidency,but we are far from erasing racism.

There will be always whites afraid the blacks will outshine them in all fields,

they will always strive to keep them down, to show that they are inferior....yet they are afraid ...afraid of the inferior? races.

Simple logic states. One can only be afraid of a superior adversary, strive to keep him down,to make sure he doesnt have the resources to threaten his supremacy...

It is paranoia of losing the upper hand.

Simple analogy.

In the kenyan civil service,you cannot be promoted unless you serve a certain number of years, it is a minimum of three years in one position....This is purely to ensure that the older guys,less learned ones protect their positions from the more virile and productive younger civil servants. Thats why there is no ps younger than 30,yet they can perform.

Suppress the young..and you will never lose power...a maxim that the kenyan politicians live by.

Racism is therefore an attempt to keep the power...but change is here....and you cant stop it!!!!!.

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Madness (schizophrenia) is sexually transmitted

Science has evidence that madness can move from one spouse to the other. I had always doubted that , but it has been proven to all kenyans...Kibaki appoints an Army general as Posta CEO... Jehovah, couldnt he provide a better CEO?
He is nuts, and it is sexually transmitted....
Somebody should urgently send a shrink to statehouse

why you shoul never take your unwilling husband/boyfriend shopping

This was emphasised through this story,

WHY ONE WOMAN CHOSE TO SHOP ALONE

Here is proof of what can happen when a woman drags her disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermarket to a customer.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our stories considering banning you and your husband from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras?

Ø 15^th June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples’ trolleys when they weren’t looking.

Ø 2 jul: set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at five minute intervals.

Ø 14^th aug: moved a “Caution – wet floor” sign to a carpeted area

Ø 4^th September: looked right into the camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose

Ø 3 dec: darted around the store suspiciously humming mission impossible theme

Ø 18^th dec: Hid in the clothing rack and yelled, “pick! pick me!!!”

Ø 23^rd dec :went into the fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “there is no toilet paper in here”

Yours sincerely,

Store manager.

This is what i call genius.

kenyans never learn

learning is defined as a relatively permanent change in behavior, thoughts or feelings as a result of experience. It allows us to:
Use past experience to predict the future,to adapt to a rapidly changing environment and to exert control over our environment.

Why do i say kenyans never learn?We never change from what we did in the past without achieving any real success. learning allows us to use our past experience to predict the future.We vote the guys we voted in 1960s back and expect change. We dont get it but we insist on voting them back yet,it  if we learnt we could predict the future after seeing what the leaders did in the past.

Learning has several steps. The last one and the most important is Application/transfer. This is where you transfer/apply what you have learnt to a real life situation that is similar to what you learnt. We have learnt that politicians only care for their own stomachs and comfort. We have learnt that HIV kills and how it is spread.Yet we trust the politicians and keep getting new infections. This is because we do not transform knowledge into actions. When you learn that the way best to wipe your bottom is the use of a soft tissue paper, you never use a sand paper. We know what should be done but we never do it.We blame the government if a young girl gives birth and dumps the baby in a long drop pit latrine...we can keep up this blame game and never act on the knowledge we have. We seem to never act from a point of knowledge,rather we seem to trash the knowledge we have and act againist it. Someone said that madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.I disagree. It is failure to learn.

Or kenyans can wake up,smell the rot that is our country and act accordingly. Remove the rot!!Or we can wait for Obama to state the obvious then critisize him,wait for Ocampo to sue our wrong doers or simply resign,lift our shoulders and let them drop and move on...or simply wait to die and hope things are better in heaven.When will this complacency leave the Kenyan psyche?when will we ask for things to be done right and do the right things the right way?????We can blame God, Kibaki, Raila,Moi or kenyatta...but forget that the common mwananchi is the main culprit. We need to change and change wont be served to us by our leaders...we the people must be the ones changing....then and only then will we see change in Kenya. Believe as it is true.

When there is no answer

There used to be a book called "when there is no doctor". This book contains information on what to do when a medical condition arose and there was no doctor nearby or he /she was on her way. I remeber it because when i was younger,now am just young, i would pilfer it from my dad's collection of books to read it. I think the first time i took liberty and took it was in class four. It was a fascinating read and i still think it still is to anyone who comes into contact with it. At the time i was reading it,sorry, looking at the pictures in it, I thought that it was a pornographic book,(so many naked men and women diagrams and photos).My dad used to read it every so often and once in a while my mum too.I wondered why my mum had beaten the crap out of me when she had found me with a coloured copy of play boy that my elder cousin had lent me amid giggles of his girlfriend. He was in high school. He was named after the same person as me and so he saw no harm in introducing me to the world of adults!! I indeed felt very adult. I had seen naked full length photos of grown up women,even though all were wazungus. On the day my mum had beaten me i had taken it to school to show my friends and taunt the girls who refused to play cha mama na baba with me about how they will eventually look albeit with a rather beautiful colour than the ones in the magazine. My newly employed teacher,lets call her juliet,got it with my friends.At the time she was hot tempered and beat every one without mercy.The parents said it was because she didnt have children of her own. I think she must have been dumped by a man or she just plain hated kids and teaching. All my friends were beaten and all told her it was mine. I think mine was a bigger crime as i was taken to the headmasters office. The teacher(juliet) went in and took some time showing the head teacher the magazine...i could see how he looked at the magazine,then me..and then stared at my class teacher breasts and licked his lips. My teacher continued narrating how she found it witth the boys and how they were taunting the girls.She said that the action of the boys had made the girls cry and that made the school girl child unfriendly. She suddenly asked the headteacher what should be done to me,twice, before the headteacher looked her in the eye,smiled and asked "hmmm?". My class teacher stomped out of the office looking red,as she was one of those ladies my grand father told me not to ever marry...very light skinned......sorry grandad i dont know if i will follow your advice.After all you never took it yourself.Look at all the three to four wives you have...all light.But if i find one i love,yellow,beige,brown,grey,green,black..it wont matter,if am ready i will marry her,if she can cope with my foibles and accepts me. "You go bring your mother!.Fokkof!!(it is when i was in class seven that i learnt what fokkof meant- fuck off, in vernacular. i still wonder whether it was directed at me or the headteacher.). Now now!!". So i went off and got my mother...who almost cried with shame when she saw the magazine and told the teacher to do as she deemed fit. I was given the caning of the year.I did not understand the why i was beaten yet my cousin read the magazine,the headteacher kept it and once i found him looking at it with red eyes and i saw several of the male teachers carry it home to read. When i got home,my mother beat me up again. I thanked God that Dad only came on weekends otherwise i would be dead today.

Now i still dont have an answer as to why beautiful nude ladies in a magazine brought such anger in my teachers and my mom,yet they all looked at them. There are many things that happen around that i cant quite fathom or find an answer to. All people try to give answers but none is really convincing at all. I am in doldrums about many things. I took the advice of a certain philosopher that in order to know the truth,You must doubt everything you know. So i started with doubting who my father was.....i observed over time,compared photos and asked my mum.Eventually i decided that my father is also my dad. we looked similar..at least in certain aspects of the face and temperament.So i decided he is my dad or a blood relative of his is.
I carried on and still carry on this doubting to date,not my parentage..am certain of it now,but of many other things.These are the things am saying have no answer.When there is no answer, what does one do?Is there a book on what to do when there is no answer? I am still looking for it.

ladies read the first part only.....men all of it

This is a mail joke i received.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading….

…
…
…
…
…
…

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!