At a loss

Perhaps some people like me were never meant to love or be loved. I am still debating whether this is true or love is indeed just but an illusion.
I have met and liked enuff women in my short career as a skirt chaser. I have chased and I may report that I havent been sooo unsuccessful.

I must have a gene integrated in my DNA ensuring that my relationships with the Beijing equality supporters will not survive. Either am totally clueless about what women want,too selfish or just a plain dandaa when it comes to skirtwearers turned trouser wearers.

Their beauty takes me,the way they talk and walk,their ability to romanticise even the wierdest of circumstances, appreciation of the colour pink, to love dogs and cats as if they were human...and to be so jealous of even the most platonic of friendship between their( in the true sense of ownership) man and another woman but themselves.

It is their ability to convince a man that they love him even when they dont,cry to make sure things go their way...and my own inability to fathom them.

At times I wonder if the men who make a lifestyle choice and date fellow men didnt, as a priest in the coast mentioned, give up on women due to their inability to fathom them.
Try as i might however,i cannot see anything attractive about a fellow man.....and therefore i cant make that choice.
I still have to go to a woman,i still fall for a woman..I am just a man..a man who's inclined totally towards these people who truly represent Gods creativity and sense for beauty..

I have read and watched and listened to people who try to explain what women want. But there is no consensus as to the person who is right...even women themselves dont agree..They are unique,each one of them..each with her own shortcomings and strengths...none wants what another wants.
I have realised that no matter how many you date,you will never get experience to handle the next one...
They differ so much....
Am now evaluating myself,to rule out my unsuitability as a lifetym mate of some gal..and whether i have never learnt anything after so many interactions between me and women...after all I could be from central or Coast where the average number of partners is 8.3 and 7.something respectively....and the prevalence of HIV is still low in both provinces..they should share the secret with the rest of kenya.

If I am genetically wrong wired as to be totally inept in sustaning relationships, Am I then meant to just never really have a family but to ensure continuity of the human race?.

If i know the real truth,I will be a free man...knowing that I shouldnt mind when they say I am intolerable,or they cant believe they love/d? me ,I will smile and know am just being me..fulfilling my destiny of spreading unbound love,that is also not binding....and I will die of a natural cause such as a disease,road traffic accident,air crash..or simply not wake up one day..when am beyond a hundred years...happily..with only those with fond memories coming to feel sad for a few minutes that am dead,and those with a mixture of good and bad memories of me wondering whether to be sad or happy,and mostly those who will just come to say good riddance....
But since I haven dated a cougar yet, maybe i will outlive all of them and none will be around by the time am 120yrs...since that is our MOU with God that I will live to see cars get off the road and fill the skies....
And it wont matter anymore....

On racism

The other day and even today ,there is a lot of hullabaloo because bbc was to interview the British National Party. The party is openly racist and does not allow membership from other races apart from pure whites.

Demonstrations have been going on at bbc to press that they are not granted the interview.

My one cent take.

Give the guys a chance. if we believe racism is not good,then whatever they say wont matter...or we are afraid to show our true colours.

We know racism has not died,it is alive and well...

Obama may have won the presidency,but we are far from erasing racism.

There will be always whites afraid the blacks will outshine them in all fields,

they will always strive to keep them down, to show that they are inferior....yet they are afraid ...afraid of the inferior? races.

Simple logic states. One can only be afraid of a superior adversary, strive to keep him down,to make sure he doesnt have the resources to threaten his supremacy...

It is paranoia of losing the upper hand.

Simple analogy.

In the kenyan civil service,you cannot be promoted unless you serve a certain number of years, it is a minimum of three years in one position....This is purely to ensure that the older guys,less learned ones protect their positions from the more virile and productive younger civil servants. Thats why there is no ps younger than 30,yet they can perform.

Suppress the young..and you will never lose power...a maxim that the kenyan politicians live by.

Racism is therefore an attempt to keep the power...but change is here....and you cant stop it!!!!!.

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Madness (schizophrenia) is sexually transmitted

Science has evidence that madness can move from one spouse to the other. I had always doubted that , but it has been proven to all kenyans...Kibaki appoints an Army general as Posta CEO... Jehovah, couldnt he provide a better CEO?
He is nuts, and it is sexually transmitted....
Somebody should urgently send a shrink to statehouse

why you shoul never take your unwilling husband/boyfriend shopping

This was emphasised through this story,

WHY ONE WOMAN CHOSE TO SHOP ALONE

Here is proof of what can happen when a woman drags her disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermarket to a customer.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our stories considering banning you and your husband from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras?

Ø 15^th June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples’ trolleys when they weren’t looking.

Ø 2 jul: set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at five minute intervals.

Ø 14^th aug: moved a “Caution – wet floor” sign to a carpeted area

Ø 4^th September: looked right into the camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose

Ø 3 dec: darted around the store suspiciously humming mission impossible theme

Ø 18^th dec: Hid in the clothing rack and yelled, “pick! pick me!!!”

Ø 23^rd dec :went into the fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “there is no toilet paper in here”

Yours sincerely,

Store manager.

This is what i call genius.

kenyans never learn

learning is defined as a relatively permanent change in behavior, thoughts or feelings as a result of experience. It allows us to:
Use past experience to predict the future,to adapt to a rapidly changing environment and to exert control over our environment.

Why do i say kenyans never learn?We never change from what we did in the past without achieving any real success. learning allows us to use our past experience to predict the future.We vote the guys we voted in 1960s back and expect change. We dont get it but we insist on voting them back yet,it  if we learnt we could predict the future after seeing what the leaders did in the past.

Learning has several steps. The last one and the most important is Application/transfer. This is where you transfer/apply what you have learnt to a real life situation that is similar to what you learnt. We have learnt that politicians only care for their own stomachs and comfort. We have learnt that HIV kills and how it is spread.Yet we trust the politicians and keep getting new infections. This is because we do not transform knowledge into actions. When you learn that the way best to wipe your bottom is the use of a soft tissue paper, you never use a sand paper. We know what should be done but we never do it.We blame the government if a young girl gives birth and dumps the baby in a long drop pit latrine...we can keep up this blame game and never act on the knowledge we have. We seem to never act from a point of knowledge,rather we seem to trash the knowledge we have and act againist it. Someone said that madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.I disagree. It is failure to learn.

Or kenyans can wake up,smell the rot that is our country and act accordingly. Remove the rot!!Or we can wait for Obama to state the obvious then critisize him,wait for Ocampo to sue our wrong doers or simply resign,lift our shoulders and let them drop and move on...or simply wait to die and hope things are better in heaven.When will this complacency leave the Kenyan psyche?when will we ask for things to be done right and do the right things the right way?????We can blame God, Kibaki, Raila,Moi or kenyatta...but forget that the common mwananchi is the main culprit. We need to change and change wont be served to us by our leaders...we the people must be the ones changing....then and only then will we see change in Kenya. Believe as it is true.

When there is no answer

There used to be a book called "when there is no doctor". This book contains information on what to do when a medical condition arose and there was no doctor nearby or he /she was on her way. I remeber it because when i was younger,now am just young, i would pilfer it from my dad's collection of books to read it. I think the first time i took liberty and took it was in class four. It was a fascinating read and i still think it still is to anyone who comes into contact with it. At the time i was reading it,sorry, looking at the pictures in it, I thought that it was a pornographic book,(so many naked men and women diagrams and photos).My dad used to read it every so often and once in a while my mum too.I wondered why my mum had beaten the crap out of me when she had found me with a coloured copy of play boy that my elder cousin had lent me amid giggles of his girlfriend. He was in high school. He was named after the same person as me and so he saw no harm in introducing me to the world of adults!! I indeed felt very adult. I had seen naked full length photos of grown up women,even though all were wazungus. On the day my mum had beaten me i had taken it to school to show my friends and taunt the girls who refused to play cha mama na baba with me about how they will eventually look albeit with a rather beautiful colour than the ones in the magazine. My newly employed teacher,lets call her juliet,got it with my friends.At the time she was hot tempered and beat every one without mercy.The parents said it was because she didnt have children of her own. I think she must have been dumped by a man or she just plain hated kids and teaching. All my friends were beaten and all told her it was mine. I think mine was a bigger crime as i was taken to the headmasters office. The teacher(juliet) went in and took some time showing the head teacher the magazine...i could see how he looked at the magazine,then me..and then stared at my class teacher breasts and licked his lips. My teacher continued narrating how she found it witth the boys and how they were taunting the girls.She said that the action of the boys had made the girls cry and that made the school girl child unfriendly. She suddenly asked the headteacher what should be done to me,twice, before the headteacher looked her in the eye,smiled and asked "hmmm?". My class teacher stomped out of the office looking red,as she was one of those ladies my grand father told me not to ever marry...very light skinned......sorry grandad i dont know if i will follow your advice.After all you never took it yourself.Look at all the three to four wives you have...all light.But if i find one i love,yellow,beige,brown,grey,green,black..it wont matter,if am ready i will marry her,if she can cope with my foibles and accepts me. "You go bring your mother!.Fokkof!!(it is when i was in class seven that i learnt what fokkof meant- fuck off, in vernacular. i still wonder whether it was directed at me or the headteacher.). Now now!!". So i went off and got my mother...who almost cried with shame when she saw the magazine and told the teacher to do as she deemed fit. I was given the caning of the year.I did not understand the why i was beaten yet my cousin read the magazine,the headteacher kept it and once i found him looking at it with red eyes and i saw several of the male teachers carry it home to read. When i got home,my mother beat me up again. I thanked God that Dad only came on weekends otherwise i would be dead today.

Now i still dont have an answer as to why beautiful nude ladies in a magazine brought such anger in my teachers and my mom,yet they all looked at them. There are many things that happen around that i cant quite fathom or find an answer to. All people try to give answers but none is really convincing at all. I am in doldrums about many things. I took the advice of a certain philosopher that in order to know the truth,You must doubt everything you know. So i started with doubting who my father was.....i observed over time,compared photos and asked my mum.Eventually i decided that my father is also my dad. we looked similar..at least in certain aspects of the face and temperament.So i decided he is my dad or a blood relative of his is.
I carried on and still carry on this doubting to date,not my parentage..am certain of it now,but of many other things.These are the things am saying have no answer.When there is no answer, what does one do?Is there a book on what to do when there is no answer? I am still looking for it.

ladies read the first part only.....men all of it

This is a mail joke i received.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading….

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

The search for greatness

We as a country have many resources,but we cant exploit them without the owners of the dollars helping us. We have developed a culture that tells us that we don't have the capacity to exploit our own resources. We have a great human capacity to achieve all the things that would make a Kenya we all want. I have come to the best educated guess conclusion that we don't do anything to achieve our dreams.We wait for Ocampo to decide the dates by when we should have a working system to punish evil people who we know,we let Annan to hold the list for us..list of our leaders and our kinsmen who organised and funded the atrocity that nearly killed kenya.We know the right drugs,dosage and the right route of giving them and the right persons to give the drugs. We know what needs to be done to heal our country..we know who to hang and who to reward..yes we do.We know all there is to know.Yet we are unwilling to do anything at all.We could wait for the formation of a local tribunal,or we could wait for the ICC.Or we could take the initiative and sue the perpetrators just here in Kenya..take them to court,deny them bond or bail, whichever for at least an year.they would lose their parliamentary seats,ministerial posts and such. We could at least demonstrate the will to heal Kenya and seem to do justice.We could wait till our leaders decide the right time for the implementation of the fourth agenda or we could implement it today. For greatness to be achieved,sacrifices must be made.We must pay the price of greatness.Every great person,as those mentioned in my earlier post,paid the ultimate price.They did benefit directly but at great cost to themselves. Each lost something, to gain something greater. The greater thing they Got didn't serve them alone,it served entire communities and continues to. As Kenya we must therefore be willing to lose the current crop of leaders for a better Kenya,we must put Kenya first and our tribesmen lower...we must look beyond the election,we must see the future.I am starting to think that Kenya is country populated by cowards....or we are unable to move forward. We know the mau must be saved,but we keep dillydallying...we know post election violence perpetrators must be punished but we have no will to do so.We will not move forward if we never act.The impotence shown by kenyans fuels our politicians disregard for the rest of kenyans..only worrying about their political survival and not of Kenya. Kenyans are dying of hunger and thirst,rains are failing,power generators are closing down,HIV ravages us,Malaria kills with impunity,insecurity is spiralling..yet we are all mum...quiet as if nothing is happening..our ministers refuse to use the cars given by the ministry,price of Unga goes unchecked...more kenyans lose jobs,more kenyans look for jobs. When if ever will kenyans wake up to the reality?when will kenyans ask for justice?when will we stop closing our eyes to obvious problems with obvious solutions?and when Will we act?Or do we have to always wait for our neighbours..friendly or not force us to act? Or when Obama piles pressure....would someone please enlighten me.
Kenya prides itself on its greatness....we claim we have the best hospitals,but we export money to south Africa and India for things that can be done here in kenya.Bypass heart surgeries are routine procedures. Why couldn't it be done here?we have qualified cardiologists and surgeons..What if as my friend asked,there was a law barring public servants from seeking medical services elsewhere apart from public hospitals? His conclusion was that the hospitals would be better equipped,serving all kenyans.What if the politicians had to educate their children here?our education system would be reformed.We have to make sure we buy from kenya to build it... in our search for greatness as when searching for personal greatness,must be pursued without sparing any effort. We must lose sleep,go hungry today,so we can sleep on a soft bed tomorrow, so we can have full bellies tomorrow. I am angry,and i might never stop ranting and preaching....among the quotes,someone says that people want to be amused,entertained..not preached to..so Am off to make myself great,whatever the cost....sorry i am preaching to myself.

interesting

joekanja.blogspot.com

THANK YOU FATHER.

This is more of thanks giving prayer to my Father up there and all over. I thank you for deciding to let me live in an era full of greats,an era of great occurrences. Thank you.
For putting me here on earth when you did,thank you for my childhood...i enjoyed it,
thank you for all the following:
My life and the blessings you have given me all along,and many others that await me along my life...thank you for i will live to see ninety.. thank you for my family..they are the best although at times...
For making my time one of the greatest.Thank you for making my friends live at the same time as me..thank you for those special people you put in my life.....thanks.

God did me a favour.I have lived and witnessed many great things....I was when Mandela was released, i was when he became president, i was when he stepped down...he is a great man.
I have seen racism suffer a great deal....i have seen attitudes and cultures of long duration challenged....i have seen the first black in white house...Obama.
I have seen that tribalism is a weapon the politicians will never let go...I have seen that kenya is Vulnerable to war as somalia...there is nothing as an island of peace.
I have seen mugabe reposess land to give it to the rightful owners...and i have seen his folly and the sabotage of the west.
I have seen that climate change is real....the clear stream at home no longer flows.the weather has changed.My home no longer receives thunder storms,nor hail storms...we called it maize rain....i have seen it change.please people get out of Mau and plant trees.
I have been living at a time with a musical genius, gifted choreographer and lyricist and many more...MJ....thank you and rest in peace.
I have lived to Hear Nyerere...his ideology and the legacy he left.he was brilliant.
I have lived to see how power hungry and unpatriotic our leaders are.
I have seen the church lose direction,i have seen jesus become a symbol of wealth.
I have witnessed Egypt frighten Brazil, i have seen USA beat fancied Spain.I have seen football greats like zidane,Ronandinho, essien,Abedi pele,Kanu,gerrald,Etoo..My My .....Egypt beat Italy, kenya hold nigeria and cameroon.....Keny sevens rugby team win and win...
I have lived in shattering of stereotypes...i have seen blacks take over almost evereything...they are pervasive...MJ,Obama,magic johnson,mike tyson,whitney huoston,lewis hamilton,tiger woods...and many more...
I am living in an era that shall be remembered...the era of the internet and blog friends,of the computer,mobile phones,satellite tv...where communication is easy....
I have lived to watch eric wainaina,Achieng abura...i lived when culture(joseph hill) , lucky dube,chaka chaka ,san fan tomas,..among many...
I have lived to read Robert Ludlum,Ngugi wa thiongo, charles dickens,st Augustine of Hippo, wilbur smith,and many others....
I have watched martin lawrence,will smith,kajairo,chris rock,jackie chan...etc
I am living and will continue living in a time of great technological strides, in a time of the Greatest world pandemic....HIV...i will live to see it beaten..
I cant thank you enuff lord, Nor fit all those things that make me grateful to you here...I really hope you Blog dear lord...I pray you walk with me at all times.....bear with poor praying habits,the unconvetional ways in which i call unto you..you have always listened...and granted. Since you can read my thots , and you already know what i want and need..please continue giving them to me..

THANKS GOD,YOU MAKE MY WORLD ROCK,MAKE KNOW AM NOT ALONE,LIVE AND NOT STOP TILL I GET ENUFF,EVEN THOUGH I HAVENT HAD A BILLIE JEAN(MAY BE I DID),YOU MAKE ME BELIEVE WE ARE THE WORLD,MAKE ME WANT TO HEAL THE WORLD AND TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE THERE. NO MATTER WHAT.
DEAR LORD, YOU TOOK MJ...BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM. i MUST SAY THAT YOU MUST BE THE GREATEST...HOW DO YOU PUT ALL THAT TALENT IN ONE PERSON?HOW THEN YOU HUMBLE THEM,REMIND THEM THEY ARE YOUR SUBJECTS...OF YOUR GREATNESS. THANK YOU FOR MAKING MJ...THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE....THANKS ,,..THANKS.....PRAISE BE UNTO YOU....BLESSINGS UNTO ME......THANK YOU,AND GRANT ME ALL I NEED AND WANT....THANKS.

Rejected in Heaven, rejected in hell

This story was told to me by a friend,a friend who went to a catholic seminary and refused to be ordained a priest. He is now a principal natural human inseminator in kenya.
There was this young man who decided to remain celibate while alive. he stayed so in the hope that the preachings he had heard would come true. That while you may lack on earth,you will receive much more in heaven.
He died a 55 years old horny man. He was really horny. On his way to heaven, he could only fantasize of how it would be. He would be welcomed by the angels,be shown the most beautiful virgins in heaven...he imagined of massages, of unaldulterated love making,surely if people worked so hard for it on earth,claimed it was sweet,then imagine it in the context of heaven.It would be a heaven within heaven.
He arrived at Heavens gate in quite a jolly mood. St. peter welcomed him, "welcome, i see you are very happy to get here". The man whom we shall call Dick, replied," Ohh yes peter, I cant wait to get in". St Peter Smiled and let him in.
Dick walked with a swagger,he felt like the king..oh yes he did. As he was walking along St. John Gold paved street , he heard a very soft voice singing..the voice held such joy that,Dick could not help but increase his pace towards the singing. He entered a room and found an angel,she was so beautiful. Dicks voice disappeared in his stomach..he just walked towards her ,eyes ablaze,his penis triple the size he got on earth while watching Kenyans in action. He used to pay a hundred for each tribe DVD in sexual action. he liked them as at least they spoke dirty kiswahili..moaned.and screamed. The screams were realistic..as those that he heard from his neighbour's house whenever the wife was not around.
He could almost not believe his luck.God really loved him...A beautiful Virgin on his first day? He went to her,his breath laboured, kissed her,and started fondling her... Mary the Virgin,screamed with horror..Had peter Unknowingly opened the gate for the wrong person??? All the saints came running,screams were unheard of in heaven. Dick was almost raping her. They took Dick off her and enquired what was wrong with him. He explained his case. The Village security committee of St.John street protested, there was no sex in heaven. And Dick requested to be sent to Hell if only for a few days so he could at least have some sex.
In hell he found beautiful ones as well. It was so hot in hell that everyone walked nude there. The fire was always big, the inhabitants of hell were used to the heat. They welcomed Dick and took him for an orientation tour around hell. When they got to where the fire was, there were many beautiful women who were keeping the fire alive. the blew into it and added more firewood. They were bent. And they spoke Swahili. Dick requested that he be allowed to assist them for a while. so Dick seduced the ladies..he had sex with all ,all the time. He was had already left earth where there was HIV...so it was Nyama kwa Nyama.They enjoyed...he enjoyed. He got so into it that he interfered with their work. whenever any bent to add firewood or blow,he got into her from behind. The fire started dying....it started being cold,the inhabitants called their boss (Satan) and demanded that Dick be expelled from hell.
Satan ,with a shaking voice(he was shivering as the fire was out),called St peter and asked that they take Dick back to heaven. Peter refused and Satan threw dick out. He is now suspended between heaven and hell...but none wants him...

I asked my friend the moral of the story and he said...That explains why i quit /refused to be ordained...why miss what is on earth only to miss it in heaven too?
Damn..he made sense.
Dear friend am sorry i told this story..but you will forgive me anyway..how is life treating you...

celibacy (men of cloth and lay men)

It(celibacy) is a word that implies sexual purity(u decide to say bye to the sweetest thing on the face of earth- muslim sucide bombers are promised 50 virgins on arrival to heaven)...it is lower on the scale to virginity(never done it)..How priests(honest ones) do it still beats me. I am for the the catholic priests to remain celibate. It doesnt matter whether they miss sex ,they are human ....but that is a sacrifice they promised the almighty. You dont just wake up and decide to cheat God.They promised to stay celibate,to no one less than God. thats why am scandalised by these priests who want to be catholic priests and throw celibacy through the window.
I do have a celibate male friend,he is not a priest,nor does he have any intentions of becoming one...he just wants to give a present to give his wife!!he is still single,meaning he is searching,he meets many gals,of whom many think he must be queer,some think he only thinks of the church and the bible,i think he is free to do whatever he deems right in his life. I keep praying that he doesnt wait till marriage and then gets a woman whose body was a plaything of many men,that God will protect him from HIV in marriage....na kadhalika in the same line. I admire his sacrifice,but i also know he has managed because he has never tasted....mmmh!he would otherwise have loads of trouble trying the secondary,tertiary and other ...rys virginity fallacies.
Letting him be, the priests want to eat their cake and have it. It is no secret that catholic priesthood and nunhood calls for total abstinence as a way of keeping their bodies pure and avoid the distraction from serving God that is sex. I know that the church has provisions that you can leave priesthood and marry if you unable to cope...As my friend keeps quoting a movie he saw, women are just 72% water,just like men and maybe not worth sacrificing your relationship with God for. These priests should therefore not form splinter churches,they should just resign or join anglican church where they can marry. I think if you promise God ,you should deliver if not sure,just make no promises and our loving father will understand....or they can come for lessons from my friend, although i understand he has every intention be a husband one of these fine days.
Enuff said.

of men and women

Of late there has been a lot of dirty linen washing on public radio in Kenya. Women have time and again stated that kenyan men of today are a weak lot. They say the men are not assertive anymore,that they are not taking responsibilities seriously...that they have ceased from being bread winners and mutated into dependants. One woman told of a story where the power went out,due to a minor short circuiting in the house and the man told the daughter to call her mother( his wife). I am alarmed also by the news that our men have become whipping boys for their women. I am of the opinion that we have, as a society lost any moral,social and cultural fabric. The women pine for men who are like their fathers...they were macho!!!!Men of today are encouraged to let their feminine side show....exhorted to be more metrosexual...to worry if a stray hair appears....By the name that i was given by my mother, the Generation of men( eligible bachelors),we have today,especially in our towns,are women with dicks, pardon the language. They pierce ears,apply make up,wear tight jeans to accentuate their hips, they even walk like women. I submit that ours is a society at cultural crossroads ,one that doesnt have a culture .in in the process of being born. We have been influenced by the west, who by the way view as with absolute scorn....we copy what they do..we even want to be bisexual...i mean it is hip!!!so while our women are empowered,our men are disempowered. women talk of equality, equality that they define as being done favours..they want fifty percent of parliament seats....on a platter,they want to have casual sex,drink more, smoke and woo men. Jehovah!!!i am all for equal opprtunity in education,ownership of property etc..but we have to have clearly defined gender roles. All those learned and enlightened women who announce to all and sundry that they cant cook, just like men are a lost crowd..by the way men can cook!!it is just that it is nice to have a woman who can cook,one who will make you want to go home for a nice meal...After all it is cheaper and less emotionally draining to hire a cook or eat out than to marry..Sex is available to all...either for cash or a few beers or entirely freee. Men dont marry just to have the above.they want a friend a companion,a mother a cook,etc. Women have by all intents made men look bad...they want a man to go with them to the salon,wash the vyombos and all...give men a break. men know that women are intelligent,able and equal....but to have a peaceful coexistence one must submit...unfortunately it is our men who are submitting..contrary to the biblical teachings...
Just some advise to the women who are still searching...search for a man not another woman with the anatomy of a man.
Men have been subjected to subtle discrimination in employment...most adverts have a rider saying," the organisation is an equal...... employer. Female candidates are particularly encouraged to apply". And male ones?can one infer that they are discouraged from applying?...
Empowerment my foot!!Lets level the playing ground and everyone, male or female have an equal chance to excel in all areas.....via merit and not sex considerations. Men please wake up and smell the perfume of ladies whizzing by you while you are trying to be like them....and dont be such wimps!!. AAAhhhhrrrg!!!

MIGINGO could be a blessing!!!!

There is a small island in lake victoria. it is estimated to be about one acre in size. It covered by slum style housing all over.Business thrives there, even the oldest proffession. it has a 24 hour economy the veep Kalonzo,He of miracles promised us. Maybe it is his doing. then maybe not.

Everyone has had a say about it...M7 insulted kenyans over it,we want to go to war over it. Migingo as a name has become popular,it has many meanings, as is the flag (kenyan or Ugandan) on it. In the street it means what others refer to as the one percent(Vagina) while the flag symbolicaly represent the budle of muscles called penis in correct lingo. So before you say migingo, be careful that pepole dont misinterpret you. Anyway this is below the point.

Kenyans have never really had unity...as a nation. thats why we always turn at each other at the slightest provocation. I have observed that adversity affecting a people, forces tham to unite in order to just survive. If we go to war over the island, I heard kibaki make a thinly veiled threat of military intervention "i have confidence in our armed forces...blah blah brag....", it will be againist all kenyans..tribes,race and any other rationale used to differentiate /segregate kenyans will come crashing.
perhas by having a common enemy, Uganda, we would have to unite...to fight for our common survival....we would forget our tribes, and join hands to survive. we would regard ourselves as kenyans first and always..........war has a way of obliterating intolerance...having to depend on your "tribal enemy" for your life, trusting that he will cover your back, fight for you...TRUST. You must trust them. We dont trust each other..Kibaki has a kikuyu bodyguard,Raila a luo one,Kalonzo a kamba one!!!WHY? they cant trust other tribes to ensure their safety. We have become a paranoid society, we ask the tribes of our bosses to assess our vulnerability at the work place, promotions are done tribalistically. As a society we have trashed merit, in its place we have put tribe,political party,family and others on top.
Thats why we need a common threat, threatening kenyans of all classes,tribes and political persuations...a common enemy so that kenyans can have an external enemy to direct their anger to....to change our national psyche....to create nationalism. The US war in vietnam created friends among blacks and whites, racism in the warfront was at its lowest ebb. whites owed their lives to blacks and vice versa..they became comrades.....can Migingo become our unifying cry, or will we forever wallow in the miasma of ignorance,tribalism and disunity????? I think it could.
Raila wouldnt go to Iran only as ODM but as prime minister of both the blues and oranges, Kibaki a president of all.....Kenya that has kenyans not tribes or political parties....
Maybe we need M7 to unite.
pssssst.....i have heard that our military equiment is of the era of kibakis youth,the ugandans have the latest.....no wonder wetangula is emphatic on diplomacy...... now you know why we wont go to war..!!! LUCKILY.
Have a good madaraka day...we are free of physical mzungu colonialism...we have mwafrika one now . Celebrate!! (sic*)

IN ABEYANCE

My near future plans are suspended..for now until the way forward is clearly defined.
Watch this space!.

sex as a weapon

Things have c ome to a head in kenya!!!!!Our women ,tired of the bickering of their men in leadership, have decided to withdraw the conjugal rights and for those not in marriage the sexual favour is withdrawn.For a week no less!!!!Will Kibaki and Raila heed this call?will all the CSWs in Koinange and other places heed the call? And for those who are married/in sexual relationships withhold the enjoyment? Remains to be seen. But the big news is that kenya is currently going through a sex fast.?

Who said Kenyans lost their sense of humour?

oh love

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.
'Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

DO WE REALLY HAVE A GOVERNMENT IN KENYA!

Gone are the days when we used to sing those sweet songs to praise our mother land Kenya. the major quiz that comes to ma mind is whether we really have a government in Kenya currently. we know there is supposedly a GRAND something that is supposedly the govt of Kenya but that Grand something ain't even grand, it has been the reason to increased crime and poverty in this once rich country.

I look back to the days of the retired president fear I wan say life was way much better. he may have been a dictator, but lets all appreciate that that is the only moment that Tribalism was a hidden factor. it was there to some level but this grand govt has cost us the unity we once felt as Kenyan.

criticism in govt is a positive thing but the major party's in our govt are not even criticising they are "words"fighting and when the cocoons based citizens hear this fights they destroy one another. where are we heading to as a country.

A word for husbands

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up!!

og madino quote

Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

To You.

LET us twain walk aside from the rest;
Now we are together privately,
do you discard ceremony,
Come! vouchsafe to me what has yet been vouchsafed to none—
Tell me the whole story,
Tell me what you would not tell your brother, priest, or physician.- Walt Whitman

BABY KENYA NEEDS THE LOVE AND CARE OF A WOMAN

THESE ARE VOICED THOTS OF B.N.K.......SHE ,THE WINNER OF MY HEART.....SOUL WAS WON BY JESUS

I am concurring with all of you who feel that this country, Kenya, needs a woman leader. It has been broken and destroyed …..Only a woman can bring it back; to a Kenya we may call ours.

I have been watching our male leaders ‘mumble about not receiving’ a full carpet red in colour….most of us Kenyans don’t even have an inch of PVC!!!! We did not elect leaders to walk on red carpets but to work for us. If an employee doesn’t do what he is employed for then we the employers should exercise our rights.

We need someone who will change the nature of this country; we do not need dictators anymore. I want a reason to rush home to watch news. It is no longer interesting watching the same corrupt persons telling us they are tired. If you are tired what are you still doing and why don’t you quit! How do you expect a very tired man to bring any development?

I fully support Martha Karua; this is one woman who is more than all the men in the current government. I have no apologies for saying so. My prayer is that she takes over power in 2012 and sails all those who are involved in the plunder that is ravaging us.

We want change that we can believe in! Someone who can actually deliver. This country needs a Martha (mother), a dominant and benevolent leader.

We all know the big role played by our mothers in our families. Was it not for them most of us would never have known the real meaning of a family. Girls have a balance; they love perfection and practice it. The more reason Kenya needs a woman for balance and perfection.

it is easter

hello, tis easter again..just extending my wishes for happy holidays...... i got this message 'i heard that somebody who was in love with you was killed because of you.........................i got confused as i couldnt think of anyone....but then...near the end of the message went ' so was jesus love great that he died just coz he loved you' such selflessness ....if only our leaders were such.....keep it up Karua!!!!!!am joining NARC- Kenya!!!!!!!!!

assorted quotes

"Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy."
Marguerite De Valois



"None are so busy as the fool and knave." -- John Dryden

"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters." -- Alice Thomas Ellis
"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers." -- Adrienne E. Gusoff

"Maturity is only a short break in adolescence." -- Jules Feiffer

"To forgive is the highest, most beautifulform of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Dr. Robert Muller

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.Benjamin Disraeli
Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves- confucius

He who blinded by ambition, raises himself to a position whence he cannot mount higher, must thereafter fall with the greatest loss---machiaveli
A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is visible labour and there is invisible labour- victor hugo

"Love must have wings to fly away from love, and to fly back again". Edwin Robinson


AND ONE I LIKED MUCH

Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. When change is absolute there remains no being to improve and no direction is set for possible improvement: and when experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. In the first stage of life the mind is frivolous and easily distracted, it misses progress by failing in consecutiveness and persistence. This is the condition of children and barbarians, in which instinct has learned nothing from experience. - GEORGE SANTAYANA

where everyone is a god(ess)

The small part of the world called kenya has a many gods. They come in all colours and hues,speak in many tongues and perform miracles and levitate in different toyota makes.
One of them is really a great one.

She was pronounced a god upon being made a VC of a certain KU. (Kenyatta University). She can see everywhere,she is omnipresent,can tell if police shot live bullets(even if students die of bullet injuries...must have shot themselves) in the safety of her home,she can create theories(kenyan conspiracy) on how thugs were hired. Nobody can tell her anything,she decides everything,including whether a semester is 16 weeks or it is equal to 10 weeks.

She perfomed a miracle and squeezed sixteen weeks in to ten week. What happened ?i thot a day is equal to 24hrs and a week 7 days...she know her stuff( magic).Her logic is convoluted and misleading...the need for cash shouldnt lead to absolute carelessness. She has prostituted the institution to her own sense of invincibility,in the end, it is the kenyan society that suffers.
It is our job market that will absorb the halfbaked stone throwing pyromaniac graduates from KU.
It is a first for me to see university students burn their own resources( which they need). The students are self righteous misguided gods,who still feel like the world owes them a lot,that it ought to adjust itself to their whims ....... somebody enlighten these sorry guys,on how it is...YOU MUST ADAPT OR YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!This was a war of gods and godesses..they fought for supremacy....and kenya lost,parents lost. godess mugendi wants to run a university as a high school and the students reacted as highschool students!.Am waiting to know which high school is their brother/sister school..The VC retrogressed and her students followed suit...the appointing authority should change the leadership of the university....for when the lead sheep limps,the herd never reaches the grass......and Akinyi( karibu) and Chinedu spare us the theatrics ,go sort ur domestics at home and if that fails,go to a court of law,not that of TV cameras. Rafael wanjala hope you learnt...go and seek forgiveness from your poor family.


On an entirely different note,as Mama once asked what men want,what do women want? i mean when will a woman know she is loved and that an ex is just that,-an EX(HISTORY)?????!!!!

HAS FEAR TAKEN KENYA OVER

Ihave informed consent to voice these thoughts, verbatim as expressed by a valued friend..the one am missing now.BNK uko vipi?



"Kenyans have lost in their justice system,the people they had hoped would be great leaders are now the corrupt kings of impunity.
I was wondering how denying a kenyan minister Visa to the US would benefit kenyans,does it even play a role in stoppin corruption?why do Kibaki and Raila keep saying they will sack the corrupt yet no one has been sacked?or have the two been sucked in too deep into corruption ,tribal politics or are they just impotent?Do they really know the corrupt or their haeds are deep in the oil.ee...e..e..eee.. sand? .For the optimists like me ,they know who did what and who didnt do what!!! so why dont they act?Is there an element of fear?
We(Kenyans) want a new constitution which was promised to us by our leaders since 2002,but if this constitution is going to be based on fear of some of the politicians,we will be bargaining ourself into some deep shit!!!
I listened and watched the other day NCCK calling for elections.It hit me with sudden jolt of a thousand volts that we dont even have an Electoral body to conduct the elections...what a shame!!!!If kibakis copter had done a Garang on him,we would be in a real mess. Our leaders are so vain and ignorant,they have forgotten to put systems for our fall back if the presidency became vacant.
The prime minister backed the students demo because the state needed to show that it would not torelate police impunity perpetuated by the state itself. We all were witnesses to a reaaly "peaceful" demonstration!! He learnt ,.....u cant be a populist all the time,you have to take responsibility!!!He feared he would lose his appeal to kenyans....and he did..Ali came out smelling like roses on Valentines.
Kenyans are afraid,of an eruption of war,of their ever greedy corrupt and uncaring leaders....they rule ,steal and incite ......how long shall we watch as they plunder our nation?
We have let them have their way with no regard for the consequences.They cried ECK to be disbanded,they were furious about how it handled last years' elections...now they fight who is to lead it....no matter an entire constituency is unrepresented in the nationa assembly..perhaps they are better off,even those represented still cry hunger na kadhalika...plus that is one less non-tax compliant MP...begone in the name of jesus...pepo mbaya....
Tribalism according to me isthe fear of being led by a person not from your tribe.The politicians have faithfully watered this fear,since Moi planted the seed....given to him by Kenyatta....thats why we have politicians who are adept at balkanising the country into tribal fiefdoms and organising mass anarchy to be in power...they are not above doing anything to get power!
I am hoping for an OBama when we call for an election ,but it is highly unlikely....mayb a Dj or me and a willing military..just thinking!

THE HIV FREE GENERATION DREAM

Maybe i am a crazy person or am an optimist beyond reason,but i believe that one day we will have HIV free generation. The definition of a generation,according to conventional wisdom is approximately 30 yrs.Thirty years from now, most of us will still be alive(assuming those who read this blog are not beyond fifty) and we can witness the era where HIV will be like cow pox-history! This is most likely going to be a pipe dream,unless and until we ,subsaharan Africans and the entire world embrace mass testing and treatment ,condomising sex,effective mother to child transmission strategies,prevention in positives,reduced stigma and demystification of Testing and treatment available.
These and my undying hope that we will get a vaccine,develop more effective drugs with less side effects and that are more torelable to most of the patients.
Kenya can have a HIV free generation ,those children who will be conceived today and coming days should be protected from infection..the only to do this is by getting tested before conceiving,before having sex people should know their status.
Without denying others their right to procreate,it is my considered opinion that people living with HIV (and know it) should try not to get children,and if they must, to have good prenatal clinic attendance ,consultation with the right proffessionals to have in place effective interventions.
As martin Luther dreamt, so i am dreaming of a time when we shall only talk of HIV as story and a social and medical success story. join me.

did you know?

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other".
Jubal Harshaw Robert Heinlein in Stranger In A Strange Land

Pope and condomised catholics

Recent tour(is it over?) of our beloved pope to cameroon was long overdue.The pope has over time proven that he couldnt give a hoot over Africa. I am a bitter African catholic...he says dont use condoms,abstain,or dont have sex. You know for a person like him,if he is true to his vocation,he can abstain...i mean he has no choice. As for me and other catholics,muslims and people of no belief wont....Anybody who has had consensual sex,will tell u it isnt one of those things one want to miss much. Forget the sweetness of lovemaking and think of the pandemic we are bearing. Infact Africa normally has less sex than the rest of the world,our population is small...i mean that Africans are a minority in the world population....if the catholics dont condomise...not marriages.. but any extra or pre marital sex,we will be doomed. If today USAID and other donors withdraw their support our programs for stopping HIV would stall...they are expensive..it is better to prevent than treat...condomise properly....consistently correctly and in light...i always wonder why people like making love in darkness....you might miss and start a new song in the lines of dr.ringding who got vexed and size of the needle frigtened the gal....The pope needs to call a meeting of cardinals,especially those who are aware of HIV and ask to be sensitised....and probably can tell us what informs his decision that condoms are evil or satanic.....anybody with any idea?

In defence of cohabiting

It has been quite sometym now.i have been busy watching me,others and the entire world..through the telescope called TV,newspapers,radio and romour mongers...
Today,i am defending cohabitation-of couples,politicians and all other persons who share an interest that is best served through cohabitation.

I have learnt that when you are cohabiting,you get all the conjugal rights and enjoy all the perks that come with it. One is released from the obligation of informing others of the arrangement,it is not legally binding .........the benefits are many,risks few and far between...especially if all agree to be trested for the Virus be it HIV ,corruption or obsessive compulsive lying disorder among others.
i have been watching the pseudo marriage of Kibaki and Raila,ODM and PNU.....they seem to be happy.I mean they eat and ask for more,then point their full stomachs at starving kenyans and claim to have been short changed....they ask for more maize,they block entry of food aid,they claim there are drugs in our hospitals then refute and say there aint drugs,we know the hospitals havent6 received their kits since last year...they meet at funerals and hug, they launch kazi initiative and they are kissing each others cheeks....these guys are cheeky.....cohabitation, it is the best......
From them i have learnt, that i can slander my cohabiteee anywhere,when am not with her,enjoy her company in hiding...complain all the more...get children and claim that she was the one who refused that i put on a condom,so i had no power to prevent an unwanted pregnancy....our collision government is fertile....with imagination and scams...they give birth faster than rabbits....it was anlgo- leasing, de la rue( u must have noticed how our money is of such poor quality),maize,triton,more maize,our mtongwe disasters in waiting....what is the point...watazaaa tu.
In cohabitation nobody takes responsibility,they just take food and all nyc things.The siblings starve,the family remains in darkness....until they find out. then they demand an end,ignore or call for transformation from cohabiting to marriage.Then the cohabitees take responsibilty.

Finally, cohabiting affords one the luxury of changing names at will....from Narc,Kanu,Rainbow (alliance)coalition to Grand collisison 'sorry' coalition.....

So for us who want i stay single,free but enjoying all the nice things of marriage,without baggage,i say...."verily verily i say unto you,thou shall remain in cohabitation,for its best" And to politicians "keep at it,we are learning"

about love

"I am in love -- and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life."
D. H. Lawrence

OF OUR FAILURE TO CONTAIN HIV

HIV is indeed a concern for all Kenyans. On this blog i have linked another blog on HIV in Kenya.While i accept that most of the issues the blogger raises are valid,i beg to differ on others. We have made giant leaps as a country in our fight against the pandemic. We have quite a good percentage of those eligible for ART on it,most people who know their status are on care and linked to community support groups. We have our emphasis on prevention ,the campaigns on abstinence , faithfulness to one faithful partner and use of condoms ( consistently,correctly and in light) in that order. It isn't just so that we have the ABC acronym but because many believe that is how effective each method is. Our primary target initially was the youth,who were mainly unmarried and most at risk ,then. Today, the scenario has changed, the married couples are more at risk, and the emphasis is on one faithful partner and condom use. Imagine if there was an advert on the TV telling people to use condoms for extra marital/other partners instead of the one we have telling men to leave the mistresses (mpango wa kando). It would cause uproar...Not because it wouldn't be the best, but because Kenyans hide behind a facade of Christianity and other religions. As Simon the blogger aptly notes, we seem to villify sex,make it evil, something to avoid...and we fail miserably in sex education..as those educating do know very little about sex. However,to change perceptions of a people,especially when coloured by the religious glasses is one hell of a task!!!Religion seems to take away the reasoning part of human mind,such that no matter how sensible/reason oriented suggestions are, they are rejected offhand as heresies...
This therefore leaves very little room for manoeuvre for those trying to contain HIV. It informs the practice of technical solutions- circumcision,mass testing and treatment,condoms for the "unreligious", rebels and other straight thinking Kenyans ,etc.These efforts must be given credit for they have achieved,BIG! Case in point is the mother to child transmission prevention, the program has worked wonders,many children are being born negative to positive mothers, Postnatal prevention through safer infant feeding practices and the early initiation of treatment for the infected infants,has really reduced mortality of HIV exposed infants. Kudos to Kenya.
Social realities may fuel or slow the spread of HIV and are hard to change, Kenyans should implement the technical(medical) solutions as they also keep impressing on themselves on the need to change our attitudes......In the end ,it is the synergy of the medical and social approaches and solutions that will win the war......KENYANS KEEP THE FAITH,AND SPREAD THE MESSAGE....YES WE CAN AND WILL BEAT HIV!!!!

HIV in Kenya: The Wisdom of Hacks

HIV in Kenya: The Wisdom of Hacks

HIV in Kenya: Wishful Thinking And Wilful Lobbying

HIV in Kenya: Wishful Thinking And Wilful Lobbying

ooooh Kenya

Today i must say am crying for my country...Mungiki does actually rule!!!no transport....chaos na kadhalika. A mungiki affilliate- oscar foundation director is dead (assisinated)...tom chomodole is about to walk free..another maize scam is about to blow,ODM was "shortchanged",Lucy is madder than a hatter,Kibaki wont go to Geneva and is sat on,cost of living is on the up,inflation is the second name of kenya......the litany is long,.....Good news, olkalria geothermal plant is up and running,the sun rose in the east,you are alive,am alive,birds chirp,Obama is still president US,Alston(prof) will die one day,El bashir is a wanted president. I cant write no more for today.....but as the poem below asks....is life just a dream?

a felt poem

'A Dream Within A Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong,
who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
- Edgar Allan Poe'

DIFFERENCES

THE DIFFERNCES BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN ARE SO MANY.HERE IS ONE...IS IT TRUE?
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

A LETTER TO MEN

This is a letter sent to me via email from a male friend. Read it and dont you judge me..i didnt judge the sender.. he said it represents acceptance into manhood and should be recited by all young men as they get initiated into manhood....i dont know what to think

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH


Fellow men

I, a man born of a man and a woman, who in the throes of their sweaty, breathy and unseeing lovemaking conceived me. I accept that since I was brought crying out of the hospital, I have only looked back, to see if the midwife was as cute as I remembered and that she had smile on seeing my erect penis.

I accept the responsibilities that have been thrust upon me. That I will always endeavour to make the woman nearest to me , to strip and get jiggy with me as fast as possible so long as we are not related….. By blood I mean…

I accept that I am an embodiment of manhood, required by womenfolk to be ever ready, keep going like the energizer bunny always taking my happiness last…serving them like goddesses and or bitches.whatever suits the circumstances . I accept that I shall never give up the secrets of manhood, that I shall walk in the light, will never let a wet pusyy remain unattended, I shall keep the rod ready….so as not to spoil the ladies.
I, fellow men accept that I shall be called many names, boy ,man, sweetie, bastard ,dog ,darling and all the other names of endearment that women will fondly refer me by… I shall not flinch nor show fear; I shall defend the fraternity of men, their right to raise skirts, get between thighs, to associate with others, pinch bar maids…..scream their heads off anytime football is on the screen of a TV.

I accept that all men have tha right to cheat their wives,galfriends,concubines and others, about their whereabouts, and activities they may be engaging in unless the truth would work in their favour.

Thank you all, this is not my victory, its your victory….you proved once again that being a man is a priveledge, I shall endeavour to live life to the full.
Enjoy your manhood…..thank you, thank you !!!

GOD BLESS MEN ,ALL BOYS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM TOOO.

amazing grace

"amazing grace.........."this song is said to have been authored by drunk priests as they returned back to church...."i was once lost but now am found..."
Like the sheepishily smiley Wako,our AG,the police commissioner has been found.I have also been found. I have not posted for a few days as i was busy being entertained by the city councillors as they competed in a non-disqualification royal rumble match.Oh mi God,why dont you smite these councillors? Did you see the lady?i pity the hubby or boyfriend or whoever else relates to her closely.And about the mayor?why does he behave as if he is avisiting mayor from south Africa?how can he claim ignorance on the going ons in the council. I dare say we need a ref permanetly and pensinably employed at the City hall.I will leave it at that.

Alston(am not certain it his name),came ,saw,heard and concluded....Wako must go,so must the police chief(Ali)...so what say me?Wako is an overipe mango that is infested by worms...he allowed himself to be the rag everybody wipes his dirt with. He will enter a nolle prosque(sp?) if the case threatens his bosses,he will claim ignorance when Devanis case is withdrawn..he will craft his own draft constituion and smile his way to keeping a job many could do better. Ignorance as the good law will tell you is no defence,it is however punishable by loss of job is the misleading of your employer..For wako, a motion of censuer would go like ..."the Ayes have it!"it would be a good riddance to an AG who has failed to prosecute a single case of high profile corruption or human rights abuse...

Ali...i dont like his arrogance,style of doing things and since am straight i dont think he is good(as a person). However ,the police do a good job,they might be trigger happy but the mungiki are trigger happier and panga happiest.There is no need to negotiate with them,for they dont even raise their grievances.Please raise up your hand if you know what they want...they dont need to be begged...i know they are peoples sons,fathers,brothers etc but so is the people they behead..Ali should stay!.

I am not for killing extra judiciary,but what if we could do the same with politicians who are corrupt,inept ...wow it would create a nation worth emulating.This is how china did it...didnt say we go their way..am just voicing my thots.
I am a bit sad today,for i am missing somebody..a beautiful gal,
the best thing that has happened to me in quite sometym,ahh well..there it is i said.
am missing you B.N.K.

The kenya we make

Today is sunny,the weather looks like it is in a good mood. Thank God. Every other day someone recalls the extravagance of a conference called 'the kenya we want', and the cries of Unga!Unga! that rent the air outside the comfy hall,in the rest of Kenya.
It is fortunate i was never invited...i dont know how i would have behaved in there...i could have just called this governments bluff....that it is a government.. haha
This aint about it though, i was thinking of all the things people said..better healthcare,security,food,jobs na kadhalika. We talked,talked and talked...I think we should have been inspired to make a kenya. We talked of what we want not what we will do, who were we telling?God?Government?US, or the world?we havent yet emancipated ourselfs from just wanting,dreaming and just remaining in that stage. All problem we have are caused by people,who we actually make heroes of. Kamlesh Pattni, Kiraitu,kimunya,Ruto and others. At one point i thought that our systems were rotten,that that is where our problems emanate...i have changed my view. Our problems come from people failing in their duties,others getting too greedy.Am asking ..what are we as kenyans doing to make the kenya we want?
If we all did the job we ought to do,upto standards and without malice or asking for a bribe ,kenya would be much better.
Imagine a kenya where the doc treats you well,kemsa delivers necessary drugs at the right time, a Kenya where police dont kill people without trial or a chance to defend themselves,where people take responsibility for their ommissions and commisions,where each of us do our jobs faithfully and with passion......the kenya we have is the one we have made....we can make another. A better kenya. A productive country,without hunger,without anger,with wealth and health. With leaders with vision and mission ,good ones. You might think am a dreamer....no...a hopeless hopeful. But just think of how it would be if all of us did our jobs right,road contractors build lasting roads within the time in their contracts..we would soon have the kenya we want.
Try doing your job for a week the ideal way.....and see a kenya you want

ABORTION

There is indeed an increase of cases of abortion and abuse of morning after pills.Speaking from the platform of knowledge i want to register my views. There was a lot of hullabaloo some tyms back about whether to legalise abortion or not. i say that abortion is neither a solution nor even a stop gap measure. The steps that lead to abortion are well known, the action(sex) is usually by mutual consent. A pregnancy always indicates an unprotected sexual intercourse(heterosexual).Kenyans have a tendency of using condoms,they know how to put them on,and use them for a while. We lack consistency and after a few encounters we eat the sweet without the wrapper.
Abortion takes many forms, which i will discuss in another one, but the objective is one: to end/terminate or get rid of a pregnancy. Basic wisdom says that prevention is better than cure. It would logically follow that we should just prevent pregnancy from happening instead of trying to remove it. Family planning is a solution to the moral,legal and ethical question of abortion. this is true barring other factors like pregnancy following rape or when the mothers life is in danger.
family planning is cheap,convenient and available for use by all who are of reproductive age.Kenyan health system is a bit friendly even to mature minors and will provide the service.
About the morning after pills,...their increased use arose following adverts in the media.This was commendable. the adverts though, failed to add that the pills are only used for emergency contraception and not as a method of family planning. Chemists record very high sales of the pills on monday mornings....the trend shows that it is being used as a family planning method following a weekend of lovemaking/babymaking. There is contorversy as to how many times it should be used in a month ,but even the most liberal of gynaecologists say not more than four times.
In short ,i am adressing myself to men and women ,ngals and mboys ....If you must have sex,unsafely,dont want a baby,hoping u dont catch HIV or you are married,and you have sex regularly then you should take a long term method of family planning that is cheap and affordable..they are many.....
Abortion is not only illegal,it is a sin and cannot be explained any other way.The fetuses in black,green and other colours paper bags really spoil the enviroment and transform our country into a man eat woman,woman eat man and baby society.
Family planning works,so give it a shot.

lets Pray

Fellow kenyans lets bow and pray,
" Our father who art on the hill (read keyback),
may our cries and those of unborn reach your ears,
give us our daily ugali at an affordable price,
and forgive our rumbling stomachs,
as we forgive your fuel guzzlers and expensive prayers,
deliver us from corrupt ministers ,
thieving business people,
from MPs who dont pay taxes,
from your own inabilty to lead and indifference,
lead us not into tempatation,
to declare you and the collision government rendudant."

AMEN.

discordant weekend

Fridays are celebrated in kenya,infact they are called furahi day...siku ya kufurahia na kulewa. seeing that am not an exception in being kenyan, i went out of the house and into a pub in the town bearing the name of our inept principal's district of birth. it was all boring, i should have stayed and tried to get some entertainment on TV. The music was good, ladies danced once in a while, men followed their lead faithfully......somehow even those under eighteen seemed depressed...........there is indeed a certain lethargy,tempered with pessimism pervading the kenyan citizenry.It is all over...even in pubs.people dont joke no more,a fella tried , those around the table just stared at him. to say that kenya is at crossroads is wrong,but kenyans are just fed up with this collission government and how they run their things. It is nauseating to watch them fight,then close ranks to cover each other. It was said by the men of cloth,although you should take their words with a sack of salt or pepper, i can feel it. Kenya is now more at risk of disintegrating than any other time,our patience is running out and soon ,soon..am not aprophet of doom, if thing dont change,if Kibaki and Raila dont adress this hunger,hunger for food,thirst for unselfish leadership,prayer for an improved government performance...a Revolution is on hand...the youth are jobless,the children are hungry,the mothers are hungry,angry and desperate...kenya as it is does not inspire hope. Our prospects look grimmer,our dreams are shattered...This is the recipe for a revolution, our money is stolen,our maize is gone,fuel is rare,education system is rotten ,our services are poor ...the list is endless
This is depressing me...did you watch news over the weekend? i was hoping for a comic relief on saturday.. some programme called somewea in africa ,all the guy did was depress me more. I hope today is better, that tommorow will be a bit refreshing.....but am almost giving up on our beloved country. today as i was in a matatu, the driver put on a counry music tape/cd,i couldnt tell, and a song played, i dont know the artist. The song put some hope in me,i can remember a line or two." something inside so strong, .....the more you close your ears, the louder i will sing,the farther you take.........the faster i will run...." it really should be a citizen's (kenyas) anthem. Today there is hope, not in what the leaders can do but what we can do..which am still trying to figure out.

Maisha: Why Boys Need Parents

Maisha: Why Boys Need Parents

raven

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.
But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-brightLawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

parliament

Our parliament (tenth), is a failure.look what it does.....let go of the guilty, claim they want a stake in budgeting ,in money they dont contribute to. Ruto came, saw, stole and walked scotfree just coz he could smooth talk his way. It is this "cover my ass i cover yours" crap that we must reject and totally exile from our government and future ones. Ruto supported return of Kimunya, so it was Kiraitus turn to defend Ruto. He did a good job, in the process defending himself. Angloleasing came up..he dropped a name.. he talked of who released the fuel to triton, but we were too busy watching the antics of Ruto....why then doesnt the government ( where Kiraitu is a major citizen/shareholder) sue those guys he mentioned?or were they previously unheard of?
And why, pray, doesnt any MP want take a motion of no confidence againist Chirau the musician? the guy is better off joining Uyoga than running a ministry. I really look forward to the day somebody feels too many are losing lifes on the roads and decide Chirau should take the political responsibility. perhaps he should resign even from being an MP and pursue a musical career. I suggest he starts by auditioning for the talent shows that will be on this year. I can guarantee him that he will win as rigging happens even there.
now that am really ranting, my boss thinks am writing a report,which i have to give by C.O.B today,his words exactly. will rant again when u see me again.

"Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life." Lord Byron

love

Of course kenyan ladies will always say kenyan men have no idea what love is, i beg to differ, so see how my definition of love is soooooo romantic.
"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. . . . When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence" This isnt mine but i kind of relate to it ,see if you can too.
So i have another poem that all will like:

Touched by An Angel
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight to liberate us into life.
Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away
the chains of fear from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love which sets us free.
- Maya Angelou

can you believe it?

Hi, this is a new blog. its objective is to voice the thoughts of a man on issues sorrounding and about kenya and its inhabitants. Am one of them, seems like until earth becomes the new paradise.

Mine today is to welcome you and then pose a question.

"who takes political responsibility for the mess that kenya is today?"
Raila wont,Kibaki wont, Parliament wont and so wont the cabinet. I suggest kenyans take the responsibility and therefore honorably resign from being citizens and therefore kenya ceases to be a state and we can reconstitute it afresh...... Oh my, dont we need prayers even if we pay millions for them? fellow kenyans lets bow and pray,
" Our father who art on the hill, may our cries and those of unborn reach your ears, give us our daily ugali at an affordable price, and forgive our rumbling stomachs,as we forgive your fuel guzzlers and expensive prayers, deliver us from corrupt ministers and thieving business people,from MPs who dont pay taxes, from your own inabilty to lead and indifference, lead us not into tempatation to declare you and the collision government rendudant." AMEN.

THERE is a prayer that kibaki and his di-une government shoud heed.