mothers day

So the day is here again. at least i have remembered...Thanks mum and other mums around the world.walk with your heads high..you have done well.

The joys of this Easter (2010)

Now now, its been a while since i voiced my thots..e-voicing that is.
It is easter!Halleluyah!!! Perhaps you unconsciusly said Amen..as we have been programmed to since the advent of crusades and protesters againist catholicism.

But i digress, it is good friday and its end of the month..people are happy,banks are happy and the pub owners happier...Make merry yee children of the earth, for there is eternal gnashing of teeth in the world to come, or you will return as an animal in the next life.

This easter is Special, really special. Kenyans have many things to celebrate..
The damn MPs ( Misguided Potheads) couldnt do a damn thing about the constitution. This heralds an era of hope...of vidication that the youth can deliver..The psc Chair on constitution review..did it. And the architects of the constitutional review bill of 2008 should be given medals..they were smart. my hope is that come the referendum, kenyans dont throw the baby out with the bath water...We can always ammend the parts we dont like later...lets first have a new order...So drink on kenyans ..Celebrate kuwa mwafrikaa..eehhh mkenya.

The ICC..more good news..the architects of the 2007/8 PEV are an uneasy lot. Ohh Ocampo is coming, not in the coital sense, but coming for them....Ohh Happy day ooh happy day..when Ocampo comes .....Am sure they didnt expect he would get a go ahead..but thanks ICC. The flipside of this is the implementers may never get hanged..for murder , rape ,arson..and the list goes on...So after celebrating ,lets not forget we still need to have our own internal actions againist those who miss the flight to Hague....Drink on kenyans, and dont drive if you drink anything else apart from non alcoholic drinks, ....aand may more goats and chicken lose their heads...may kenyans keep theirs, And remember a condom, a shot, saves a life.

Finally, and not least..our Athletics (cross country)team did us proud...Taking all the Gold medals on offer..That is just off the hook!!! or anything else you would prefer it to be off...and some ran barefoot....Am proud to be kenyan!!!

And I might get to see somebody..someone..to whom my reaction to defies logic, derails my perfectly normal bodily function and makes me drunk...both on beer and something else am still researching on.....This is A good Easter...as good as it ever gets...

Thank You Jesus..and the early priests for making this a Holiday spanning 4 days..!

May you all have a fanta/sprite/dasani/brookside/kcc/pombe/sexstatic Easter!

At a loss

Perhaps some people like me were never meant to love or be loved. I am still debating whether this is true or love is indeed just but an illusion.
I have met and liked enuff women in my short career as a skirt chaser. I have chased and I may report that I havent been sooo unsuccessful.

I must have a gene integrated in my DNA ensuring that my relationships with the Beijing equality supporters will not survive. Either am totally clueless about what women want,too selfish or just a plain dandaa when it comes to skirtwearers turned trouser wearers.

Their beauty takes me,the way they talk and walk,their ability to romanticise even the wierdest of circumstances, appreciation of the colour pink, to love dogs and cats as if they were human...and to be so jealous of even the most platonic of friendship between their( in the true sense of ownership) man and another woman but themselves.

It is their ability to convince a man that they love him even when they dont,cry to make sure things go their way...and my own inability to fathom them.

At times I wonder if the men who make a lifestyle choice and date fellow men didnt, as a priest in the coast mentioned, give up on women due to their inability to fathom them.
Try as i might however,i cannot see anything attractive about a fellow man.....and therefore i cant make that choice.
I still have to go to a woman,i still fall for a woman..I am just a man..a man who's inclined totally towards these people who truly represent Gods creativity and sense for beauty..

I have read and watched and listened to people who try to explain what women want. But there is no consensus as to the person who is right...even women themselves dont agree..They are unique,each one of them..each with her own shortcomings and strengths...none wants what another wants.
I have realised that no matter how many you date,you will never get experience to handle the next one...
They differ so much....
Am now evaluating myself,to rule out my unsuitability as a lifetym mate of some gal..and whether i have never learnt anything after so many interactions between me and women...after all I could be from central or Coast where the average number of partners is 8.3 and 7.something respectively....and the prevalence of HIV is still low in both provinces..they should share the secret with the rest of kenya.

If I am genetically wrong wired as to be totally inept in sustaning relationships, Am I then meant to just never really have a family but to ensure continuity of the human race?.

If i know the real truth,I will be a free man...knowing that I shouldnt mind when they say I am intolerable,or they cant believe they love/d? me ,I will smile and know am just being me..fulfilling my destiny of spreading unbound love,that is also not binding....and I will die of a natural cause such as a disease,road traffic accident,air crash..or simply not wake up one day..when am beyond a hundred years...happily..with only those with fond memories coming to feel sad for a few minutes that am dead,and those with a mixture of good and bad memories of me wondering whether to be sad or happy,and mostly those who will just come to say good riddance....
But since I haven dated a cougar yet, maybe i will outlive all of them and none will be around by the time am 120yrs...since that is our MOU with God that I will live to see cars get off the road and fill the skies....
And it wont matter anymore....

On racism

The other day and even today ,there is a lot of hullabaloo because bbc was to interview the British National Party. The party is openly racist and does not allow membership from other races apart from pure whites.

Demonstrations have been going on at bbc to press that they are not granted the interview.

My one cent take.

Give the guys a chance. if we believe racism is not good,then whatever they say wont matter...or we are afraid to show our true colours.

We know racism has not died,it is alive and well...

Obama may have won the presidency,but we are far from erasing racism.

There will be always whites afraid the blacks will outshine them in all fields,

they will always strive to keep them down, to show that they are inferior....yet they are afraid ...afraid of the inferior? races.

Simple logic states. One can only be afraid of a superior adversary, strive to keep him down,to make sure he doesnt have the resources to threaten his supremacy...

It is paranoia of losing the upper hand.

Simple analogy.

In the kenyan civil service,you cannot be promoted unless you serve a certain number of years, it is a minimum of three years in one position....This is purely to ensure that the older guys,less learned ones protect their positions from the more virile and productive younger civil servants. Thats why there is no ps younger than 30,yet they can perform.

Suppress the young..and you will never lose power...a maxim that the kenyan politicians live by.

Racism is therefore an attempt to keep the power...but change is here....and you cant stop it!!!!!.

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Madness (schizophrenia) is sexually transmitted

Science has evidence that madness can move from one spouse to the other. I had always doubted that , but it has been proven to all kenyans...Kibaki appoints an Army general as Posta CEO... Jehovah, couldnt he provide a better CEO?
He is nuts, and it is sexually transmitted....
Somebody should urgently send a shrink to statehouse

why you shoul never take your unwilling husband/boyfriend shopping

This was emphasised through this story,

WHY ONE WOMAN CHOSE TO SHOP ALONE

Here is proof of what can happen when a woman drags her disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermarket to a customer.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our stories considering banning you and your husband from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras?

Ø 15^th June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples’ trolleys when they weren’t looking.

Ø 2 jul: set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at five minute intervals.

Ø 14^th aug: moved a “Caution – wet floor” sign to a carpeted area

Ø 4^th September: looked right into the camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose

Ø 3 dec: darted around the store suspiciously humming mission impossible theme

Ø 18^th dec: Hid in the clothing rack and yelled, “pick! pick me!!!”

Ø 23^rd dec :went into the fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “there is no toilet paper in here”

Yours sincerely,

Store manager.

This is what i call genius.