AM JUMPING UP AND DOWN

I have said again and again that the kenyan hope lies with the youth,That they can deliver the kenyan dream....And Isaack Hassan has proved me right.....

Good people...we are reborn...we are becoming a nation...Kenya....

Thank you kenyans,thank you....

I am so happy we successsfully midwifed a new kenya yesterday...am so happy am jumping up and down...which must mean a lot to a whole adult kenyan....
We have a new constitution....OOHHH yes we do....

Now we should join hands and implement it ,raise the kenya we want....you and me...

Out with the old and in with the new...

We should do the same with the leaders come 2012 or the next general election whichever comes first.

Change the face of kenyan leadreship,just as we have the constitution...

I believe its going to happen...new constitution,new leaders,new Kenya......

If handshaking didnt spread aso many germs,perhaps i would stand at Tom mboya street and shake every ones hand, but now i will be content with kissing them in my fantasies and reality...and only the female kenyans who dont mind.

We are a Great nation.
I am truly Proud to be kenyan.

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

They say love is but a series of battles. I dont know how true that is, what i know however is that when love gets to the point of blowing up,it does so with the fanfare. I have been an ardent student of human nature,i have always been intrigued by the dynamics between people who claim to love each other.

I have wondered why our parents could keep relationships alive for the length they have,they have weathered many battles,they have gone through hell and back.

While i admire their courage and selflessness, i always feel that they have given too much to see marriages work. Look at Kibaki,he probably would have kicked lucy out a long time ago. Moi did it without any remorse and i think he was right.

All a man needs is money,books,sex,friends of all sexes, an enjoyable occupation and that is all.

Thank God for the technological advances, one can now wash his/her clothes at the touch of a button,buy ready to eat food,disposable vyombos etc. That life comes with it the best of independence. Or what other may call selfishness. If we could formulate a form of relationship that does not require any form of committment...I wud be a happy man. As it is am not. Shit just hit the fan.

As an ardent fan of country music,especially the mucisian Kenny Rodgers, and one song in particular titled the gambler...it says one must know the different times..time to hold on,time to walk away and time to run ...when it comes to relationships...it is always time to walk away or run...then you can count your money when the deal is done.

I have always known that a woman is good for a man,but only in the context of no committment..when that crawls in ..then a man is turned into a shadow of himself. That does happpen and all the time without exception.

After much thot and after a standards test by KEBS, i have been certified unfit for female humanoids consumption for periods longer than one night. As much as i want to be normal..have a normal wife/girlfriends I have resigned to the fact that i cant.
AND THAT AINT MY FAULT, I CANT BE THAT PERFECT MAN WOMEN FANTASIZE ABOUT..my relationship with them,those who we are not related from now on will always start and end with sex and nothing more.Am sorry but i have learnt my lesson,I cant be who i aint.

mothers day

So the day is here again. at least i have remembered...Thanks mum and other mums around the world.walk with your heads high..you have done well.

The joys of this Easter (2010)

Now now, its been a while since i voiced my thots..e-voicing that is.
It is easter!Halleluyah!!! Perhaps you unconsciusly said Amen..as we have been programmed to since the advent of crusades and protesters againist catholicism.

But i digress, it is good friday and its end of the month..people are happy,banks are happy and the pub owners happier...Make merry yee children of the earth, for there is eternal gnashing of teeth in the world to come, or you will return as an animal in the next life.

This easter is Special, really special. Kenyans have many things to celebrate..
The damn MPs ( Misguided Potheads) couldnt do a damn thing about the constitution. This heralds an era of hope...of vidication that the youth can deliver..The psc Chair on constitution review..did it. And the architects of the constitutional review bill of 2008 should be given medals..they were smart. my hope is that come the referendum, kenyans dont throw the baby out with the bath water...We can always ammend the parts we dont like later...lets first have a new order...So drink on kenyans ..Celebrate kuwa mwafrikaa..eehhh mkenya.

The ICC..more good news..the architects of the 2007/8 PEV are an uneasy lot. Ohh Ocampo is coming, not in the coital sense, but coming for them....Ohh Happy day ooh happy day..when Ocampo comes .....Am sure they didnt expect he would get a go ahead..but thanks ICC. The flipside of this is the implementers may never get hanged..for murder , rape ,arson..and the list goes on...So after celebrating ,lets not forget we still need to have our own internal actions againist those who miss the flight to Hague....Drink on kenyans, and dont drive if you drink anything else apart from non alcoholic drinks, ....aand may more goats and chicken lose their heads...may kenyans keep theirs, And remember a condom, a shot, saves a life.

Finally, and not least..our Athletics (cross country)team did us proud...Taking all the Gold medals on offer..That is just off the hook!!! or anything else you would prefer it to be off...and some ran barefoot....Am proud to be kenyan!!!

And I might get to see somebody..someone..to whom my reaction to defies logic, derails my perfectly normal bodily function and makes me drunk...both on beer and something else am still researching on.....This is A good Easter...as good as it ever gets...

Thank You Jesus..and the early priests for making this a Holiday spanning 4 days..!

May you all have a fanta/sprite/dasani/brookside/kcc/pombe/sexstatic Easter!

At a loss

Perhaps some people like me were never meant to love or be loved. I am still debating whether this is true or love is indeed just but an illusion.
I have met and liked enuff women in my short career as a skirt chaser. I have chased and I may report that I havent been sooo unsuccessful.

I must have a gene integrated in my DNA ensuring that my relationships with the Beijing equality supporters will not survive. Either am totally clueless about what women want,too selfish or just a plain dandaa when it comes to skirtwearers turned trouser wearers.

Their beauty takes me,the way they talk and walk,their ability to romanticise even the wierdest of circumstances, appreciation of the colour pink, to love dogs and cats as if they were human...and to be so jealous of even the most platonic of friendship between their( in the true sense of ownership) man and another woman but themselves.

It is their ability to convince a man that they love him even when they dont,cry to make sure things go their way...and my own inability to fathom them.

At times I wonder if the men who make a lifestyle choice and date fellow men didnt, as a priest in the coast mentioned, give up on women due to their inability to fathom them.
Try as i might however,i cannot see anything attractive about a fellow man.....and therefore i cant make that choice.
I still have to go to a woman,i still fall for a woman..I am just a man..a man who's inclined totally towards these people who truly represent Gods creativity and sense for beauty..

I have read and watched and listened to people who try to explain what women want. But there is no consensus as to the person who is right...even women themselves dont agree..They are unique,each one of them..each with her own shortcomings and strengths...none wants what another wants.
I have realised that no matter how many you date,you will never get experience to handle the next one...
They differ so much....
Am now evaluating myself,to rule out my unsuitability as a lifetym mate of some gal..and whether i have never learnt anything after so many interactions between me and women...after all I could be from central or Coast where the average number of partners is 8.3 and 7.something respectively....and the prevalence of HIV is still low in both provinces..they should share the secret with the rest of kenya.

If I am genetically wrong wired as to be totally inept in sustaning relationships, Am I then meant to just never really have a family but to ensure continuity of the human race?.

If i know the real truth,I will be a free man...knowing that I shouldnt mind when they say I am intolerable,or they cant believe they love/d? me ,I will smile and know am just being me..fulfilling my destiny of spreading unbound love,that is also not binding....and I will die of a natural cause such as a disease,road traffic accident,air crash..or simply not wake up one day..when am beyond a hundred years...happily..with only those with fond memories coming to feel sad for a few minutes that am dead,and those with a mixture of good and bad memories of me wondering whether to be sad or happy,and mostly those who will just come to say good riddance....
But since I haven dated a cougar yet, maybe i will outlive all of them and none will be around by the time am 120yrs...since that is our MOU with God that I will live to see cars get off the road and fill the skies....
And it wont matter anymore....

On racism

The other day and even today ,there is a lot of hullabaloo because bbc was to interview the British National Party. The party is openly racist and does not allow membership from other races apart from pure whites.

Demonstrations have been going on at bbc to press that they are not granted the interview.

My one cent take.

Give the guys a chance. if we believe racism is not good,then whatever they say wont matter...or we are afraid to show our true colours.

We know racism has not died,it is alive and well...

Obama may have won the presidency,but we are far from erasing racism.

There will be always whites afraid the blacks will outshine them in all fields,

they will always strive to keep them down, to show that they are inferior....yet they are afraid ...afraid of the inferior? races.

Simple logic states. One can only be afraid of a superior adversary, strive to keep him down,to make sure he doesnt have the resources to threaten his supremacy...

It is paranoia of losing the upper hand.

Simple analogy.

In the kenyan civil service,you cannot be promoted unless you serve a certain number of years, it is a minimum of three years in one position....This is purely to ensure that the older guys,less learned ones protect their positions from the more virile and productive younger civil servants. Thats why there is no ps younger than 30,yet they can perform.

Suppress the young..and you will never lose power...a maxim that the kenyan politicians live by.

Racism is therefore an attempt to keep the power...but change is here....and you cant stop it!!!!!.

Rules for women

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

7. Crying is blackmail.

8. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

9. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

10. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
would look good with your dress?

11. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

12. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

15. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

16. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

27. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

28. You have enough clothes.

29. You have too many shoes.

30. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

31. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

32. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

33. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Madness (schizophrenia) is sexually transmitted

Science has evidence that madness can move from one spouse to the other. I had always doubted that , but it has been proven to all kenyans...Kibaki appoints an Army general as Posta CEO... Jehovah, couldnt he provide a better CEO?
He is nuts, and it is sexually transmitted....
Somebody should urgently send a shrink to statehouse

why you shoul never take your unwilling husband/boyfriend shopping

This was emphasised through this story,

WHY ONE WOMAN CHOSE TO SHOP ALONE

Here is proof of what can happen when a woman drags her disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermarket to a customer.

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our stories considering banning you and your husband from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras?

Ø 15^th June: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples’ trolleys when they weren’t looking.

Ø 2 jul: set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at five minute intervals.

Ø 14^th aug: moved a “Caution – wet floor” sign to a carpeted area

Ø 4^th September: looked right into the camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose

Ø 3 dec: darted around the store suspiciously humming mission impossible theme

Ø 18^th dec: Hid in the clothing rack and yelled, “pick! pick me!!!”

Ø 23^rd dec :went into the fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly “there is no toilet paper in here”

Yours sincerely,

Store manager.

This is what i call genius.

kenyans never learn

learning is defined as a relatively permanent change in behavior, thoughts or feelings as a result of experience. It allows us to:
Use past experience to predict the future,to adapt to a rapidly changing environment and to exert control over our environment.

Why do i say kenyans never learn?We never change from what we did in the past without achieving any real success. learning allows us to use our past experience to predict the future.We vote the guys we voted in 1960s back and expect change. We dont get it but we insist on voting them back yet,it  if we learnt we could predict the future after seeing what the leaders did in the past.

Learning has several steps. The last one and the most important is Application/transfer. This is where you transfer/apply what you have learnt to a real life situation that is similar to what you learnt. We have learnt that politicians only care for their own stomachs and comfort. We have learnt that HIV kills and how it is spread.Yet we trust the politicians and keep getting new infections. This is because we do not transform knowledge into actions. When you learn that the way best to wipe your bottom is the use of a soft tissue paper, you never use a sand paper. We know what should be done but we never do it.We blame the government if a young girl gives birth and dumps the baby in a long drop pit latrine...we can keep up this blame game and never act on the knowledge we have. We seem to never act from a point of knowledge,rather we seem to trash the knowledge we have and act againist it. Someone said that madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.I disagree. It is failure to learn.

Or kenyans can wake up,smell the rot that is our country and act accordingly. Remove the rot!!Or we can wait for Obama to state the obvious then critisize him,wait for Ocampo to sue our wrong doers or simply resign,lift our shoulders and let them drop and move on...or simply wait to die and hope things are better in heaven.When will this complacency leave the Kenyan psyche?when will we ask for things to be done right and do the right things the right way?????We can blame God, Kibaki, Raila,Moi or kenyatta...but forget that the common mwananchi is the main culprit. We need to change and change wont be served to us by our leaders...we the people must be the ones changing....then and only then will we see change in Kenya. Believe as it is true.

When there is no answer

There used to be a book called "when there is no doctor". This book contains information on what to do when a medical condition arose and there was no doctor nearby or he /she was on her way. I remeber it because when i was younger,now am just young, i would pilfer it from my dad's collection of books to read it. I think the first time i took liberty and took it was in class four. It was a fascinating read and i still think it still is to anyone who comes into contact with it. At the time i was reading it,sorry, looking at the pictures in it, I thought that it was a pornographic book,(so many naked men and women diagrams and photos).My dad used to read it every so often and once in a while my mum too.I wondered why my mum had beaten the crap out of me when she had found me with a coloured copy of play boy that my elder cousin had lent me amid giggles of his girlfriend. He was in high school. He was named after the same person as me and so he saw no harm in introducing me to the world of adults!! I indeed felt very adult. I had seen naked full length photos of grown up women,even though all were wazungus. On the day my mum had beaten me i had taken it to school to show my friends and taunt the girls who refused to play cha mama na baba with me about how they will eventually look albeit with a rather beautiful colour than the ones in the magazine. My newly employed teacher,lets call her juliet,got it with my friends.At the time she was hot tempered and beat every one without mercy.The parents said it was because she didnt have children of her own. I think she must have been dumped by a man or she just plain hated kids and teaching. All my friends were beaten and all told her it was mine. I think mine was a bigger crime as i was taken to the headmasters office. The teacher(juliet) went in and took some time showing the head teacher the magazine...i could see how he looked at the magazine,then me..and then stared at my class teacher breasts and licked his lips. My teacher continued narrating how she found it witth the boys and how they were taunting the girls.She said that the action of the boys had made the girls cry and that made the school girl child unfriendly. She suddenly asked the headteacher what should be done to me,twice, before the headteacher looked her in the eye,smiled and asked "hmmm?". My class teacher stomped out of the office looking red,as she was one of those ladies my grand father told me not to ever marry...very light skinned......sorry grandad i dont know if i will follow your advice.After all you never took it yourself.Look at all the three to four wives you have...all light.But if i find one i love,yellow,beige,brown,grey,green,black..it wont matter,if am ready i will marry her,if she can cope with my foibles and accepts me. "You go bring your mother!.Fokkof!!(it is when i was in class seven that i learnt what fokkof meant- fuck off, in vernacular. i still wonder whether it was directed at me or the headteacher.). Now now!!". So i went off and got my mother...who almost cried with shame when she saw the magazine and told the teacher to do as she deemed fit. I was given the caning of the year.I did not understand the why i was beaten yet my cousin read the magazine,the headteacher kept it and once i found him looking at it with red eyes and i saw several of the male teachers carry it home to read. When i got home,my mother beat me up again. I thanked God that Dad only came on weekends otherwise i would be dead today.

Now i still dont have an answer as to why beautiful nude ladies in a magazine brought such anger in my teachers and my mom,yet they all looked at them. There are many things that happen around that i cant quite fathom or find an answer to. All people try to give answers but none is really convincing at all. I am in doldrums about many things. I took the advice of a certain philosopher that in order to know the truth,You must doubt everything you know. So i started with doubting who my father was.....i observed over time,compared photos and asked my mum.Eventually i decided that my father is also my dad. we looked similar..at least in certain aspects of the face and temperament.So i decided he is my dad or a blood relative of his is.
I carried on and still carry on this doubting to date,not my parentage..am certain of it now,but of many other things.These are the things am saying have no answer.When there is no answer, what does one do?Is there a book on what to do when there is no answer? I am still looking for it.

ladies read the first part only.....men all of it

This is a mail joke i received.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.” The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.” The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading….

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they’re so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

The search for greatness

We as a country have many resources,but we cant exploit them without the owners of the dollars helping us. We have developed a culture that tells us that we don't have the capacity to exploit our own resources. We have a great human capacity to achieve all the things that would make a Kenya we all want. I have come to the best educated guess conclusion that we don't do anything to achieve our dreams.We wait for Ocampo to decide the dates by when we should have a working system to punish evil people who we know,we let Annan to hold the list for us..list of our leaders and our kinsmen who organised and funded the atrocity that nearly killed kenya.We know the right drugs,dosage and the right route of giving them and the right persons to give the drugs. We know what needs to be done to heal our country..we know who to hang and who to reward..yes we do.We know all there is to know.Yet we are unwilling to do anything at all.We could wait for the formation of a local tribunal,or we could wait for the ICC.Or we could take the initiative and sue the perpetrators just here in Kenya..take them to court,deny them bond or bail, whichever for at least an year.they would lose their parliamentary seats,ministerial posts and such. We could at least demonstrate the will to heal Kenya and seem to do justice.We could wait till our leaders decide the right time for the implementation of the fourth agenda or we could implement it today. For greatness to be achieved,sacrifices must be made.We must pay the price of greatness.Every great person,as those mentioned in my earlier post,paid the ultimate price.They did benefit directly but at great cost to themselves. Each lost something, to gain something greater. The greater thing they Got didn't serve them alone,it served entire communities and continues to. As Kenya we must therefore be willing to lose the current crop of leaders for a better Kenya,we must put Kenya first and our tribesmen lower...we must look beyond the election,we must see the future.I am starting to think that Kenya is country populated by cowards....or we are unable to move forward. We know the mau must be saved,but we keep dillydallying...we know post election violence perpetrators must be punished but we have no will to do so.We will not move forward if we never act.The impotence shown by kenyans fuels our politicians disregard for the rest of kenyans..only worrying about their political survival and not of Kenya. Kenyans are dying of hunger and thirst,rains are failing,power generators are closing down,HIV ravages us,Malaria kills with impunity,insecurity is spiralling..yet we are all mum...quiet as if nothing is happening..our ministers refuse to use the cars given by the ministry,price of Unga goes unchecked...more kenyans lose jobs,more kenyans look for jobs. When if ever will kenyans wake up to the reality?when will kenyans ask for justice?when will we stop closing our eyes to obvious problems with obvious solutions?and when Will we act?Or do we have to always wait for our neighbours..friendly or not force us to act? Or when Obama piles pressure....would someone please enlighten me.
Kenya prides itself on its greatness....we claim we have the best hospitals,but we export money to south Africa and India for things that can be done here in kenya.Bypass heart surgeries are routine procedures. Why couldn't it be done here?we have qualified cardiologists and surgeons..What if as my friend asked,there was a law barring public servants from seeking medical services elsewhere apart from public hospitals? His conclusion was that the hospitals would be better equipped,serving all kenyans.What if the politicians had to educate their children here?our education system would be reformed.We have to make sure we buy from kenya to build it... in our search for greatness as when searching for personal greatness,must be pursued without sparing any effort. We must lose sleep,go hungry today,so we can sleep on a soft bed tomorrow, so we can have full bellies tomorrow. I am angry,and i might never stop ranting and preaching....among the quotes,someone says that people want to be amused,entertained..not preached to..so Am off to make myself great,whatever the cost....sorry i am preaching to myself.

interesting

joekanja.blogspot.com

THANK YOU FATHER.

This is more of thanks giving prayer to my Father up there and all over. I thank you for deciding to let me live in an era full of greats,an era of great occurrences. Thank you.
For putting me here on earth when you did,thank you for my childhood...i enjoyed it,
thank you for all the following:
My life and the blessings you have given me all along,and many others that await me along my life...thank you for i will live to see ninety.. thank you for my family..they are the best although at times...
For making my time one of the greatest.Thank you for making my friends live at the same time as me..thank you for those special people you put in my life.....thanks.

God did me a favour.I have lived and witnessed many great things....I was when Mandela was released, i was when he became president, i was when he stepped down...he is a great man.
I have seen racism suffer a great deal....i have seen attitudes and cultures of long duration challenged....i have seen the first black in white house...Obama.
I have seen that tribalism is a weapon the politicians will never let go...I have seen that kenya is Vulnerable to war as somalia...there is nothing as an island of peace.
I have seen mugabe reposess land to give it to the rightful owners...and i have seen his folly and the sabotage of the west.
I have seen that climate change is real....the clear stream at home no longer flows.the weather has changed.My home no longer receives thunder storms,nor hail storms...we called it maize rain....i have seen it change.please people get out of Mau and plant trees.
I have been living at a time with a musical genius, gifted choreographer and lyricist and many more...MJ....thank you and rest in peace.
I have lived to Hear Nyerere...his ideology and the legacy he left.he was brilliant.
I have lived to see how power hungry and unpatriotic our leaders are.
I have seen the church lose direction,i have seen jesus become a symbol of wealth.
I have witnessed Egypt frighten Brazil, i have seen USA beat fancied Spain.I have seen football greats like zidane,Ronandinho, essien,Abedi pele,Kanu,gerrald,Etoo..My My .....Egypt beat Italy, kenya hold nigeria and cameroon.....Keny sevens rugby team win and win...
I have lived in shattering of stereotypes...i have seen blacks take over almost evereything...they are pervasive...MJ,Obama,magic johnson,mike tyson,whitney huoston,lewis hamilton,tiger woods...and many more...
I am living in an era that shall be remembered...the era of the internet and blog friends,of the computer,mobile phones,satellite tv...where communication is easy....
I have lived to watch eric wainaina,Achieng abura...i lived when culture(joseph hill) , lucky dube,chaka chaka ,san fan tomas,..among many...
I have lived to read Robert Ludlum,Ngugi wa thiongo, charles dickens,st Augustine of Hippo, wilbur smith,and many others....
I have watched martin lawrence,will smith,kajairo,chris rock,jackie chan...etc
I am living and will continue living in a time of great technological strides, in a time of the Greatest world pandemic....HIV...i will live to see it beaten..
I cant thank you enuff lord, Nor fit all those things that make me grateful to you here...I really hope you Blog dear lord...I pray you walk with me at all times.....bear with poor praying habits,the unconvetional ways in which i call unto you..you have always listened...and granted. Since you can read my thots , and you already know what i want and need..please continue giving them to me..

THANKS GOD,YOU MAKE MY WORLD ROCK,MAKE KNOW AM NOT ALONE,LIVE AND NOT STOP TILL I GET ENUFF,EVEN THOUGH I HAVENT HAD A BILLIE JEAN(MAY BE I DID),YOU MAKE ME BELIEVE WE ARE THE WORLD,MAKE ME WANT TO HEAL THE WORLD AND TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE THERE. NO MATTER WHAT.
DEAR LORD, YOU TOOK MJ...BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM. i MUST SAY THAT YOU MUST BE THE GREATEST...HOW DO YOU PUT ALL THAT TALENT IN ONE PERSON?HOW THEN YOU HUMBLE THEM,REMIND THEM THEY ARE YOUR SUBJECTS...OF YOUR GREATNESS. THANK YOU FOR MAKING MJ...THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE....THANKS ,,..THANKS.....PRAISE BE UNTO YOU....BLESSINGS UNTO ME......THANK YOU,AND GRANT ME ALL I NEED AND WANT....THANKS.

Rejected in Heaven, rejected in hell

This story was told to me by a friend,a friend who went to a catholic seminary and refused to be ordained a priest. He is now a principal natural human inseminator in kenya.
There was this young man who decided to remain celibate while alive. he stayed so in the hope that the preachings he had heard would come true. That while you may lack on earth,you will receive much more in heaven.
He died a 55 years old horny man. He was really horny. On his way to heaven, he could only fantasize of how it would be. He would be welcomed by the angels,be shown the most beautiful virgins in heaven...he imagined of massages, of unaldulterated love making,surely if people worked so hard for it on earth,claimed it was sweet,then imagine it in the context of heaven.It would be a heaven within heaven.
He arrived at Heavens gate in quite a jolly mood. St. peter welcomed him, "welcome, i see you are very happy to get here". The man whom we shall call Dick, replied," Ohh yes peter, I cant wait to get in". St Peter Smiled and let him in.
Dick walked with a swagger,he felt like the king..oh yes he did. As he was walking along St. John Gold paved street , he heard a very soft voice singing..the voice held such joy that,Dick could not help but increase his pace towards the singing. He entered a room and found an angel,she was so beautiful. Dicks voice disappeared in his stomach..he just walked towards her ,eyes ablaze,his penis triple the size he got on earth while watching Kenyans in action. He used to pay a hundred for each tribe DVD in sexual action. he liked them as at least they spoke dirty kiswahili..moaned.and screamed. The screams were realistic..as those that he heard from his neighbour's house whenever the wife was not around.
He could almost not believe his luck.God really loved him...A beautiful Virgin on his first day? He went to her,his breath laboured, kissed her,and started fondling her... Mary the Virgin,screamed with horror..Had peter Unknowingly opened the gate for the wrong person??? All the saints came running,screams were unheard of in heaven. Dick was almost raping her. They took Dick off her and enquired what was wrong with him. He explained his case. The Village security committee of St.John street protested, there was no sex in heaven. And Dick requested to be sent to Hell if only for a few days so he could at least have some sex.
In hell he found beautiful ones as well. It was so hot in hell that everyone walked nude there. The fire was always big, the inhabitants of hell were used to the heat. They welcomed Dick and took him for an orientation tour around hell. When they got to where the fire was, there were many beautiful women who were keeping the fire alive. the blew into it and added more firewood. They were bent. And they spoke Swahili. Dick requested that he be allowed to assist them for a while. so Dick seduced the ladies..he had sex with all ,all the time. He was had already left earth where there was HIV...so it was Nyama kwa Nyama.They enjoyed...he enjoyed. He got so into it that he interfered with their work. whenever any bent to add firewood or blow,he got into her from behind. The fire started dying....it started being cold,the inhabitants called their boss (Satan) and demanded that Dick be expelled from hell.
Satan ,with a shaking voice(he was shivering as the fire was out),called St peter and asked that they take Dick back to heaven. Peter refused and Satan threw dick out. He is now suspended between heaven and hell...but none wants him...

I asked my friend the moral of the story and he said...That explains why i quit /refused to be ordained...why miss what is on earth only to miss it in heaven too?
Damn..he made sense.
Dear friend am sorry i told this story..but you will forgive me anyway..how is life treating you...

celibacy (men of cloth and lay men)

It(celibacy) is a word that implies sexual purity(u decide to say bye to the sweetest thing on the face of earth- muslim sucide bombers are promised 50 virgins on arrival to heaven)...it is lower on the scale to virginity(never done it)..How priests(honest ones) do it still beats me. I am for the the catholic priests to remain celibate. It doesnt matter whether they miss sex ,they are human ....but that is a sacrifice they promised the almighty. You dont just wake up and decide to cheat God.They promised to stay celibate,to no one less than God. thats why am scandalised by these priests who want to be catholic priests and throw celibacy through the window.
I do have a celibate male friend,he is not a priest,nor does he have any intentions of becoming one...he just wants to give a present to give his wife!!he is still single,meaning he is searching,he meets many gals,of whom many think he must be queer,some think he only thinks of the church and the bible,i think he is free to do whatever he deems right in his life. I keep praying that he doesnt wait till marriage and then gets a woman whose body was a plaything of many men,that God will protect him from HIV in marriage....na kadhalika in the same line. I admire his sacrifice,but i also know he has managed because he has never tasted....mmmh!he would otherwise have loads of trouble trying the secondary,tertiary and other ...rys virginity fallacies.
Letting him be, the priests want to eat their cake and have it. It is no secret that catholic priesthood and nunhood calls for total abstinence as a way of keeping their bodies pure and avoid the distraction from serving God that is sex. I know that the church has provisions that you can leave priesthood and marry if you unable to cope...As my friend keeps quoting a movie he saw, women are just 72% water,just like men and maybe not worth sacrificing your relationship with God for. These priests should therefore not form splinter churches,they should just resign or join anglican church where they can marry. I think if you promise God ,you should deliver if not sure,just make no promises and our loving father will understand....or they can come for lessons from my friend, although i understand he has every intention be a husband one of these fine days.
Enuff said.

of men and women

Of late there has been a lot of dirty linen washing on public radio in Kenya. Women have time and again stated that kenyan men of today are a weak lot. They say the men are not assertive anymore,that they are not taking responsibilities seriously...that they have ceased from being bread winners and mutated into dependants. One woman told of a story where the power went out,due to a minor short circuiting in the house and the man told the daughter to call her mother( his wife). I am alarmed also by the news that our men have become whipping boys for their women. I am of the opinion that we have, as a society lost any moral,social and cultural fabric. The women pine for men who are like their fathers...they were macho!!!!Men of today are encouraged to let their feminine side show....exhorted to be more metrosexual...to worry if a stray hair appears....By the name that i was given by my mother, the Generation of men( eligible bachelors),we have today,especially in our towns,are women with dicks, pardon the language. They pierce ears,apply make up,wear tight jeans to accentuate their hips, they even walk like women. I submit that ours is a society at cultural crossroads ,one that doesnt have a culture .in in the process of being born. We have been influenced by the west, who by the way view as with absolute scorn....we copy what they do..we even want to be bisexual...i mean it is hip!!!so while our women are empowered,our men are disempowered. women talk of equality, equality that they define as being done favours..they want fifty percent of parliament seats....on a platter,they want to have casual sex,drink more, smoke and woo men. Jehovah!!!i am all for equal opprtunity in education,ownership of property etc..but we have to have clearly defined gender roles. All those learned and enlightened women who announce to all and sundry that they cant cook, just like men are a lost crowd..by the way men can cook!!it is just that it is nice to have a woman who can cook,one who will make you want to go home for a nice meal...After all it is cheaper and less emotionally draining to hire a cook or eat out than to marry..Sex is available to all...either for cash or a few beers or entirely freee. Men dont marry just to have the above.they want a friend a companion,a mother a cook,etc. Women have by all intents made men look bad...they want a man to go with them to the salon,wash the vyombos and all...give men a break. men know that women are intelligent,able and equal....but to have a peaceful coexistence one must submit...unfortunately it is our men who are submitting..contrary to the biblical teachings...
Just some advise to the women who are still searching...search for a man not another woman with the anatomy of a man.
Men have been subjected to subtle discrimination in employment...most adverts have a rider saying," the organisation is an equal...... employer. Female candidates are particularly encouraged to apply". And male ones?can one infer that they are discouraged from applying?...
Empowerment my foot!!Lets level the playing ground and everyone, male or female have an equal chance to excel in all areas.....via merit and not sex considerations. Men please wake up and smell the perfume of ladies whizzing by you while you are trying to be like them....and dont be such wimps!!. AAAhhhhrrrg!!!

MIGINGO could be a blessing!!!!

There is a small island in lake victoria. it is estimated to be about one acre in size. It covered by slum style housing all over.Business thrives there, even the oldest proffession. it has a 24 hour economy the veep Kalonzo,He of miracles promised us. Maybe it is his doing. then maybe not.

Everyone has had a say about it...M7 insulted kenyans over it,we want to go to war over it. Migingo as a name has become popular,it has many meanings, as is the flag (kenyan or Ugandan) on it. In the street it means what others refer to as the one percent(Vagina) while the flag symbolicaly represent the budle of muscles called penis in correct lingo. So before you say migingo, be careful that pepole dont misinterpret you. Anyway this is below the point.

Kenyans have never really had unity...as a nation. thats why we always turn at each other at the slightest provocation. I have observed that adversity affecting a people, forces tham to unite in order to just survive. If we go to war over the island, I heard kibaki make a thinly veiled threat of military intervention "i have confidence in our armed forces...blah blah brag....", it will be againist all kenyans..tribes,race and any other rationale used to differentiate /segregate kenyans will come crashing.
perhas by having a common enemy, Uganda, we would have to unite...to fight for our common survival....we would forget our tribes, and join hands to survive. we would regard ourselves as kenyans first and always..........war has a way of obliterating intolerance...having to depend on your "tribal enemy" for your life, trusting that he will cover your back, fight for you...TRUST. You must trust them. We dont trust each other..Kibaki has a kikuyu bodyguard,Raila a luo one,Kalonzo a kamba one!!!WHY? they cant trust other tribes to ensure their safety. We have become a paranoid society, we ask the tribes of our bosses to assess our vulnerability at the work place, promotions are done tribalistically. As a society we have trashed merit, in its place we have put tribe,political party,family and others on top.
Thats why we need a common threat, threatening kenyans of all classes,tribes and political persuations...a common enemy so that kenyans can have an external enemy to direct their anger to....to change our national psyche....to create nationalism. The US war in vietnam created friends among blacks and whites, racism in the warfront was at its lowest ebb. whites owed their lives to blacks and vice versa..they became comrades.....can Migingo become our unifying cry, or will we forever wallow in the miasma of ignorance,tribalism and disunity????? I think it could.
Raila wouldnt go to Iran only as ODM but as prime minister of both the blues and oranges, Kibaki a president of all.....Kenya that has kenyans not tribes or political parties....
Maybe we need M7 to unite.
pssssst.....i have heard that our military equiment is of the era of kibakis youth,the ugandans have the latest.....no wonder wetangula is emphatic on diplomacy...... now you know why we wont go to war..!!! LUCKILY.
Have a good madaraka day...we are free of physical mzungu colonialism...we have mwafrika one now . Celebrate!! (sic*)

IN ABEYANCE

My near future plans are suspended..for now until the way forward is clearly defined.
Watch this space!.